Richard Gere Demands USAID Be Restored After Learning Taxpayers Were Only Funding 88 Cents Of Pure Vibe

HOLLYWOOD — Richard Gere reportedly emerged from a candlelit room filled with scarves, foreign film posters, and one extremely emotional houseplant this week to demand President Trump restore USAID, sources have confirmed.

Trump eliminated the program after his administration reviewed what was actually happening and concluded Americans were not exactly getting the heartwarming charity brochure version of events.

Gere, however, was outraged.

“This was America’s purest program,” Gere allegedly whispered while gazing toward a window like a man preparing to fall in love with a grant application.

“You can’t put a price on compassion, especially when someone else is paying.”

Sources say Gere then attempted to explain USAID using a method Hollywood insiders called “emotional correctness,” which involves replacing facts with soft lighting and saying “humanity” every 14 seconds.

White House aides reportedly responded by mailing Gere a calculator, which he immediately accused of being MAGA.

Hollywood quickly rallied behind the actor, praising his bravery for defending a government program from the dangerous extremist position of being audited.

One producer said Gere was uniquely qualified to speak on the matter because he has spent decades playing the same serious man who enters rooms slowly and knows things without proving them.

As of press time, Gere had announced a new film titled Pretty Spending, in which a heroic actor saves democracy by staring at a spreadsheet until it apologizes