NEW YORK ā Robert De Niro reportedly confused even his own publicist this week after comparing loving America to loving an abusive husband, then spending the next several minutes trying to explain the metaphor without accidentally admitting he has been emotionally married to Donald Trump for nearly a decade, sources have confirmed.
De Niro, who has bravely built the final act of his career around screaming at clouds shaped like Republicans, warned Americans that loving their country is complicated when the country refuses to vote exactly how celebrities command.
āItās like loving an abusive husband,ā De Niro said, before immediately sensing the room trying to process whether he had just cast America, Trump, or himself as the spouse.
āNo, no, no,ā De Niro clarified, waving his hands like a man trying to back out of a burning parking garage.
āI mean America is the marriage, Trump is the husband, democracy is the therapist, and Iām the guy yelling outside the courthouse. You understand?ā
No one did.
Hollywood applauded anyway.
Experts say De Niroās Trump obsession has reached the stage where he now sees the president in every script, steakhouse menu, cab receipt, and suspiciously orange sunset.
Sources close to the actor say his team has begged him to return to normal political commentary, such as calling half the country fascist from a luxury event.
As of press time, De Niro had clarified that he loves America deeply, provided America apologizes, moves out, gives him the house, and promises never to invite Trump to Thanksgiving again.
DeNiro is da zero. Why do we get punished with his many rants?
DeNiro should pack up his bags and leave… and never come back. But oh, he’s dependent upon Trump and can’t make it on his own – too bad, loser.
DeNiro should pack his bags and leave, never to return. But then, he knows deep down he can’t survive without Trump. Too bad, loser, stupidity has its consequences.
This manās lavish lifestyle , money and fame have gone to his head! He thinks we care what he thinks! He has too much time on his hands ! Go away !
The idiot is mentally ill just by reading what he wrote down itās a sickness that cannot be cured. He in flex his own wounds with nonsense.
Joseph: Are you sure he is writing what he says? More likely he has some activist Dem doing it for him!
Joseph: Are you sure he is writing what he says?
DeNiro has totally lost it.
Leave the country. He is a draft dodger who is a so so actor.
The draft dodger is the orange criminal with bone spurs, you know who that is !
deniro, jane fonda, and bette midler have put totgether a show of has beens to denounce America in its 250th year of existance.
Three whining Aholes.
Fonda is a disgusting piece of communist loving crap that got American POWs killed. I hopebher miserable worthless arse burns in the hottest crack of Hell for eternity.
NEVER EVER FORGET WHAT THAT TRAITOROUS BITCH DID! NEVER
There is no known medical or psychotherapeutic antidote for TDS. Dinero and Rosie O’Donnell are case in point.
Washed up old man that no one cares about anymore I wish he would just shut the fk up and go away somewhere š
De Niro is a waste of oxygen. He’s also a perfect example of Trump living rent free in his pointed head.
De Niro has the mouth of an alligator but the ass of a hummingbird.
He should be wearing is underwear on his head because sh-t keeps coming out of his mouth.
This is the problem when people have more money than brains.
Spot on.
Degenerate DeNiro is nothing but a DISGRACE !! He’s a worthless has-been and he knows it , so when he wants attention , he goes on FAKE cnn and bashes Republicans and President Trump !! DeNiro , who hates our country is finished , done , through , so he needs to pack his panties and move and live with Rosie !!
The disgusting whining old puss needs to just drag his TDS infected arse out of America. What a gutless old buzzard he is. Go with his gaggle of rich mincing twits to a deserted island and they can all sit around a campfire and sing kumbya and knit. Hes a washed up old had been with terminal cade of butthurt.
Maybe he should move to Ireland with Rosey….
DeNero lost half his fan base with his TDS rants.Senility can be expensive.