NEW YORK — Supporters of taxpayer-funded free public transportation were left stunned this week after Kansas City’s fare-free bus experiment, which inspired Zohran Mamdani’s transit proposals, reportedly ran out of money and was forced to begin charging riders again, sources have confirmed.
The collapse of the Kansas City program has rocked progressive circles, where many activists had confidently assumed buses operated entirely on hope, equity, and campaign slogans.
“None of this makes sense,” said one bewildered socialist while demanding answers.
“You’re telling me diesel costs money? Mechanics want paychecks? Tires don’t just regenerate naturally?”
Experts explained that fuel, maintenance, insurance, drivers, replacement parts, and basic reality all continued existing despite repeated requests that capitalism please stop.
Undeterred, activists quickly proposed replacing free buses with taxpayer-funded electric cars for anyone inconvenienced by the return of fares.
“Transportation is a human right,” argued one organizer.
“And if cars are too expensive, perhaps taxpayers should also provide free garages, free charging stations, and emotional support bicycles.”
Others suggested the next logical step might include complimentary magic pumpkins for seasonal commuting, or perhaps enchanted carpet rides for those who prefer a more whimsical, zero-emissions option.
“Why stop at buses?” another activist added.
“If we’re imagining solutions, let’s imagine big. Flying carpets, teleportation booths, maybe a unicorn shuttle service during peak hours.”
Meanwhile, ordinary residents quietly wondered why every “free” government program eventually arrives accompanied by a larger tax bill and a press conference explaining why even more money is somehow needed.
Economists say the failure of Kansas City’s free bus experiment has been especially traumatic for people who previously believed groceries were created by grocery stores and electricity came from inspirational speeches.
As of press time, city planners had reportedly unveiled a revolutionary new concept called “paying for things before giving them away.”
Apparently a few too many people have been “over experimenting” in hallucinogenic drugs.
Yeah man. Nature may be free but automation is man made.
Bizarre reality goodbye .. welcome back to real reality
Maybe we should replace the Constitution with the old Articles of Confederation and re-establish state primacy over the federal government. Then reasonable, hard working people who reside outside of these progressive urban zones, will never have their tax dollars used to bail out these “we want everything free” socialists.
Great idea!
I used to fly to Venezuela to work and every Wednesday the employees would stand on the street and wait for the garbage truck to get done with its run in the food district before coming to the business district. Those employees were scrambling to get the food scraps off the truck.
Socialism doesn’t work but these spoiled kids living under the capitalist system are so stupid that they have never experienced the downfall. I did and I will fight socialism with everything I have.
Well said my fellow Patriot!
There is no such thing, nor has there ever been, as a “free lunch” somebody pays for it,
… and quite often “free” is much more expensive!
How about Mamdani free camel service transportation he rode them when he was a kid.
Also they leave free fertilizer and food for the hungry. Mamdani brains on the streets.
You vote these idiots in, now live with your choice, but the federal gov should not bail them out!
Absolutely correct Rosco – I agree 100%.
Another example of low I.Q., unqualified people in positions of public authority making absolutely stupid decisions.
The main problem with Socialism is eventually you run out of other peoples money.
Feel free to use free transportation, your legs and feet!
Haha ,,, these worthless socialist democrats are finding out that with their 7 brain cells , that they were lied to !! Socialism does not work and has never worked !! Nothing is FREE , all they’re doing is just screwing up OUR country by electing socialist into office !!