After announcing controversial plans to scale back their Pride Month participation, Target announced today that they will look the other way on any shoplifting done by homosexuals for the entire month of June, sources have confirmed.
“We’re just re-aligning our strategies around being good allies,” said Target CEO Brian Cornell. “We still have nothing but love and support for the LGBT community, but putting that stuff out front and center didn’t really do the numbers for us we hoped it would. So we’re going to be little less in-your-face about it, and just let gay shoppers pocket some items and we’ll act like we don’t see it.”
“Nothing too crazy please, homosexuals,” he added. “Let’s all be cool about this.”
Members of the gay community were pleased with Target’s contributions to their cause.
“I’m fine with less rainbow T-shirts on mannequins if it means I can steal almonds and toothpaste this month,” said Jesse Johnson, a local Target shopper taking advantage of the Pride Month shoplifting promotion. “Many of these companies talk a big game about their support, but what do any of them actually do for me? Target are doing the work and hopefully other companies will follow suit and next year we can get free Subway or something too.”
As of press time, Target had confirmed that if you were bisexual, they’d knock a couple of bucks off of your total this month.
I don’t know what target is thinking about these days lately letting gay people steal for what reason? Cause they are Gay, what a bunch of idiots we have today running corporations will you have steal days for the straight people?, you know that the best thing that could happen to this company is that they go out of business, I have gay people in my family and they are just as appalled by the stupidity of this company’s policies and decisions as I am as if gay people need to steal stuff to make themselves feel better about being gay. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
check out other sources on this and the other articles here. they all sound like clown jokes.
We have progressed through legalising sexual deviency, to allowing public displays of it, to parades claiming “pride” in their perverse desires, to forcing it on normal people including innocent children, and now to rewarding such people by exempting them from legal action for crimes such as theft. What next ? Making it compulsory ? I suggest we will have to put a stop to the whole sickness by reintroducing a law making any public behaviour, expression of support, or promotion in any way a crime again.
What’s next? “Steal days” for straight people? Maybe a few days for those who identify as dogs? How about Irish steal days? Or how about Police steal days?
This company is being run by complete idiots. Stock holders should kick this CEO out and get someone in who has some common sense.
None of the articles this site publishes can be real. Purely satire. Fags aren’t gonna steal, and hunter o’biden wasn’t smoking crack in court. Fucking stupid publication
Gay Or Not ! When Target does this, they will lose all of their merchandise because everyone will become gay on that day ! Target owners are so stupid. They have lost so much business and parking lots are empty … maybe this is a way to unload their merchandise right before they go out of business.
As a gay person I find this revolting. No one should be stealing and what Target is doing is telling us stealing is sometimes ok. It’s NEVER OK to steal.
What’s really going on is divide and conquer. These Vanguard/Blackrock owned companies have been doing everything they can do to show favoritism towards different groups. Why? Divide and conquer. If we are all fighting with each other we won’t notice that they are sliding communism into our country. Psychology 101. If you want to cause resentment, give a certain group extra favors. Like a mother favoring one child over the other and then wondering why they don’t get along. They are doing the same thing with immigrants. Why is the government in Canada paying 70% of an immigrant’s salary when a business hires them? Our tax dollars in Canada being spent on immigrant wages. Shutting the door on businesses considering non immigrants for hire. They want us fighting. It weakens us. This is what they want. We need to boycott companies like Target and we need to get rid of the corrupt politicians that are currently in power.
I will not be shopping there anymore . Theft is theft no matter how you say it . I hope you go out of business for this stunt . Goodbye Target . Who needs a store that promotes stealing .
Straight people should sue. It’s giving special treatment to one group.
I stop going to Target for all their Bull-sht, keep doing their stupid ideas and their business will go to S-HT.
This just shows how insane America has become! Okay to steal as long as you have a particular sexual preference??? And just how does Target plan on identifying who is gay and who isn’t? Oh I guess all the thieves will automatically be presumed gay so from now on gay people will have a new prejudice attached to them – they’ll all be known as moral less thieves as well! Our country really in trouble now!
I don’t shop at target. Their prices stink to begin with. And like every other place. Their food is over priced. Target is just bowing down to the likes of Blackrock that owns enough shares in corporate America to force this bs. Just boycott target and others that push it. Oreo cookies packaged pride wrapping . I boycott them. And don’t drink budweiser. Never could stand the taste of it any way. Enough of shoving the crap in our faces. But when you have a sniffing-fondling-pervert in the WH. This is what we get.
I’m sorry but this is the most ridiculous thing I have EVER heard of. What, they didn’t make enough money selling pride merchandise so lets just have all the gays come in during the month of June for pride month and steal everything so we will make even less money. That makes a hell of a lot of sense. I’m so sick of the woke left pushing the gay agenda on straight people. If you are gay then that is your choice but it is not my choice to be forced to be ok with it nor is it my choice to be forced to acknowledge your pronouns every time I speak with you just to make you feel better. I flat out refuse to do that and having pride month is not going to change that. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Always has been and always will be. Just because you decide to change what you identify as will not change the narrative. The fact that the CEO of Target is allowing a “shoplifting month for all gays during pride month” says a lot about his character — he is weak, impressionable and naive. Most importantly, he has no backbone if he cannot stand up for himself, his company and what is right. It is disgusting what this country has come to in the past 4 LLLOOONNNNGGG years under Sleepy Joe. What can you expect though when you have a President who is parading around as a devout Catholic when he is actually the total opposite and most likely has not seen the inside of a church/cathedral in years. Any President who can recognize the Transgender Day of Visibility on the holiest of days for Christians, Easter, rather than honoring and remembering Jesus is a disgrace to his country, besides the many, many other terrible things he has done, ordered and has been responsible for. I could go on and on about how this administration has pushed the gay/transgender agenda on straight individuals, no matter if they care to hear it or not and that includes gender reaffirming surgery for all ages of kids. Only a pedophile for a President would push this subject, seeing how he has grandchildren of his own and it disgusts me more and more every day that this sort of behavior is deemed not only ok but what kids actually want. My 9 year old niece one day wants to be a princess and they next day wants to be a singer. She in actuality has no concrete ability to decide, mentally, if a surgery such as gender reaffirming today to make her a boy would in fact be what she would truly want down the road when she is 18 and that is how it should be. These parents who claim their kids told them at age 4 that they were born a boy but knew then that they were supposed to be a girl are sick in the head and should be arrested for child abuse because that is what it is and nothing less. Everyone knows Biden was behind all of Trumps indictments and responsible for the judge’s rulings, convictions etc. After all, one of the things the judge told the jury before they went to deliberate was that they did not all have to come to a unanimous decision—that even just a few guilty votes would be sufficient to convict Trump. The last time I checked, a jury had to be unanimous in their votes in order to reach a conviction and the judge was not allowed to sway them one way or the other like that. The judge, in doing so, may have just opened himself up to a reversal of the conviction on the grounds that he swayed the jury in their decision. Biden and his cronies thought that by indicting Trump and getting him convicted his popularity would go down and go to him. Wrong. It had just the opposite effect. Trump’s popularity has increased greatly now as a result of his unfair conviction which is why he is going to be exonerated and he is also going to be re-elected as the 47th President of the United States on November 5th. Thank God. He is the only President who truly has the people of America—all of the people of America at heart and is working for you—not for Big Tech and all those other corps. Why else would Trump subject himself to all this hell if he didn’t believe in the cause, believe in the American people and believe that without him, the next four years are going to be even worse than the past four, if that is even possible. Remember that on November 5th.
RIGHT ON, Michele! I am not a good typer, but I sure wish those words came out of my fingers. Enough is enough! These woke loonies need to WAKE UP! We are tired of your insane actions. Go Away!
Amen to all you stated.
How did you take a parody article about Target and turn it into an essay about Joe Biden
Hello: This may be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Stealing is wrong, no matter what your sexual preference. I will think twice before I ever shop at Target again. Hope they lose their shirts on this kind of nonsense. Ease
Is a long time, I don’t buy at Target, there are several store to buy.
It is just a joke. Target is cutting back on Merchandise, but not allowing them to seal.
Holy cow! Did y’all notice the author is Joe King? Uh, joking!!
Of course it’s satire.
Please scroll down to the “About” tab. The last line is perfect!
“Just remember, if you find yourself offended, congratulations! You’re part of the joke.”
America has become a part of looney tunes. Thanks Target for pushing your gay agenda. Never will Target get a dime from me. Target you will pay now or in the future in eternity. Thou shalt not steal , do you Target remember this commandment? —John—
Absolutely idiotic, don’t shop there anymore.
i find it absolutely hilarious that everyone in the comments is taking this so seriously when it’s obviously a parody article. it’s literally written by “Joe King”. come ON guys