Furries Form Search Party After Truckload of Research Monkeys Escapes, Claim ‘Only We Understand Their Spirit’
Authorities are still searching for three “highly excitable” research monkeys that escaped after a truck crash Friday — but the...
AOC Demands Riley Gaines Get a Real Job, Forgets Congress Is Her Part-Time Theater Gig
AOC the self proclaimed "WOKE leader", has reportedly filed an “emotional grievance” against former NCAA swimmer Riley Gaines after Gaines...
Tim Walz Drops Debut Album: ‘Now That’s What I Call Alternative Facts
Washington, D.C. — Governor Tim Walz and several top Democrats have reportedly been caught running a secret operation known as...
AOC Declares Sanity — Immediately Follows With 47-Minute Rant About Feelings of the Subway System
New York City — During a rally for fellow socialist Zohran Mamdani, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez boldly declared, “They want us to...
Jeffries Launches Multi-Million Investigation Into Trump’s Ballroom — Demands “Equal Glitter for All”
Washington, D.C. — Progressive Hakeem Jeffries has reportedly announced a multi-million-dollar investigation into President Trump’s privately funded White House ballroom,...
Microwave Majesty: Prince Andrew Reportedly Learning How to Cook After Royal Perks Vanish
LONDON — Following the removal of his royal banner and privileges, Prince Andrew has reportedly been forced to live what...
Hillary Clinton Launches Emergency Fund to Stop Trump’s …..Curtains
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Running low on fresh outrage, Hillary Clinton and her band of exhausted progressives have officially returned to...
White House Launches Interactive ‘Scandal Museum’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to Democratic outrage over the new White House ballroom, President Trump has announced plans to...
Democrats Accidentally Admit They’re Fighting for Billionaires, Announce New Slogan: “We Care About The Rich Who Care About Us”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After days of pretending to “fight for the people,” Democrats accidentally admitted they’re actually fighting to protect...
Bernie Sanders Treated for Accidental Common Sense Exposure
Chaos erupted on Capitol Hill today after Bernie Sanders accidentally agreed with President Trump, sources have confirmed. The 80 something-year-old...
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