WASHINGTON — As the new year dawns and the Presidential election draws closer, prominent Democrats have begun reminding young voters just how important it is that they participate in democracy as long as they’re supporting the right politicians.
“There is nothing more important to your duty as an American citizen than by getting out there and voting,” said Vice President Kamala Harris, addressing a series of first time voters in a town hall earlier today. “And by voting, of course, we mean specifically for me and Joe Biden, as well as any Democratic candidates you see on the ballot when you get in there. Basically, if you want to honor the founding fathers and their vision for America, don’t think too hard when you get in that booth. Just vote for Democrats even if you don’t know their whole deal. That’s what we need you to do.”
Despite the clear messaging behind Harris’ speech, many attendants left confused by the directions.
“These liberals get up there and talk about how our ‘civic duty’ and how important it is to ‘participate in democracy’ but then it’s clear that they just want you to vote for their guy,” said local voter Mitch Taylor. “Is it still my civic duty if I don’t vote for the elderly cry babies and white collar criminals Saturday Night Live wants me to vote for? Or would that make me deplorable? I’m just trying to keep up here.”
As of press time, Nancy Pelosi announced she’d personally give anyone a ride to the polls that shared their exact vision for America’s future. All others were told to go back to China.
