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Home Politics

Greenland to Go Green, Literally, Thanks to House Democrats

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
January 14, 2025
in Politics, World News
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Make Greenland Green Again
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House Democrats have unanimously agreed to pass the “Make Greenland Green Again Act,” sources have confirmed.

The bold new bill pledges to tackle climate change by literally painting large areas of Greenland’s ice sheets in vibrant shades of green, in hopes of promoting environmental awareness and boosting satellite aesthetics.



The legislation, spearheaded by a committee that apparently confused ‘green’ initiatives with actual green paint, aims to transform the icy, white landscape into a lush-looking paradise—at least from space. “If it looks green, it must be green,” stated the committee chair, who may have missed a few science classes.

Critics argue that the plan is superficial and a gross misuse of taxpayer dollars, but supporters are brushing off the criticism—along with any scientific advice—claiming that the visual facelift will inspire a global movement toward greener policies.

Environmentalists are green with rage, calling the act a literal whitewash—except with green—of deeper climate issues. Meanwhile, paint companies are experiencing a surge in stock prices, gearing up to bid on what has been dubbed the “world’s largest art project.”

As of press time, new amendments were being drafted to include other colors, suggesting a potential future ‘Make Greenland Rainbow Again’ campaign.

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Comments 5

  1. Ellen Hubbell says:
    1 year ago

    Worst idea ever, not to mention the environment !!! As mentioned, the cost will be over the top also.

    Reply
  2. Ernie says:
    1 year ago

    This idea is a total waste of time and money, not mentioning the affects it will have on the environment, have they done any type of study on how bad this could be for the wild life, or is it just a case of vanity gone mad!!!!!

    Reply
    • Joan says:
      1 year ago

      This is a joke. Greenland has been covered in ice for billions of years. It’s a joke.

      Reply
  3. ross boger says:
    1 year ago

    good joke

    Reply
  4. G.C. Davis says:
    1 year ago

    Satire at it’s finest! Molière would be proud

    Reply

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