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Judges Angry at Emotional Support Goldfish After SCOTUS Crushes Their Rulings

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
September 4, 2025
in U.S. News
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A dozen federal judges are reportedly in full meltdown mode after the Supreme Court overturned several of their rulings without “adequate emotional cushioning.” Sources have confirmed.

One anonymous judge complained that the justices’ terse orders felt “like a breakup text without even an emoji.”



Another demanded trigger warnings before receiving any SCOTUS reversal, preferably with a scented candle included.

To cope, the judges are lobbying Congress for taxpayer-funded therapy karaoke nights.

The proposed set-list includes “I Will Survive,” “You’re So Vain,” and a rewritten version of “Don’t Stop Believin’” retitled Don’t Stop Appealin’.

Court administrators have already installed bubble wrap wallpaper in select chambers to minimize emotional bruising.

Meanwhile, several judges are trialing emotional support goldfish, though one complained his fish “wasn’t validating his lived judicial experience.”

Chief Justice Roberts reportedly suggested they “grow a spine,” prompting a request for mandatory “sensitivity training for mean legal opinions.”

As of Press Time, one judge was spotted sobbing into his robe, demanding the Supreme Court at least “use a smiley face stamp” when crushing his rulings.

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Comments 2

  1. Sue says:
    6 months ago

    It’s time to remove these pathetic sick judges from the bench immediately. These are nothing but pajama wearing democrat fools bought and paid for from the corrupt democrat establishment. They all need to be audited for their corruption. These unelected judges are nothing but their to obstruct everything Trumps does and it’s yes obvious what they are doing. Time to hold these criminals accountable for their actions and crimes. Time for full investigation into these corrupt judges.

    Reply
  2. Darby O'Gill says:
    6 months ago

    Ah yes…..to live and breath in the age of masculine women and feminine men…..created by the hags of the left in the classroom. Go girls go and you boys stop fighting and hug each other !!!!!!!

    Reply

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