Kamala Harris Tosses Salads, Not Songs, to Broadway

In a theatrical gesture that has the Great White Way buzzing, Vice President Kamala Harris delivered salad to the cast and crew of a hit Broadway show, sources have confirmed.

Harris, known for her initiatives to promote healthy living, decided to take her message directly to the heart of New York City’s theater district, bearing boxes of kale and arugula.

“Don’t throw away your shot… to eat your greens!” Harris quipped, referencing a famous line from the musical “Hamilton,” as she handed out salad bowls. The gesture was part of a broader initiative to encourage healthier eating habits among Americans, even those who are more accustomed to quick stage-side snacks than sit-down meals.

While the cast appreciated the healthy fuel, some crew members were less enthused, having hoped for something a bit more substantial to power through their double-performance day. “It’s hard to operate heavy stage machinery on just leafy greens,” one technician joked.

As of press time, rumors were circulating that next week the Vice President plans to bring smoothies to the New York Stock Exchange, in a bid to energize Wall Street with vitamins and possibly turn the market’s recent losses into ‘liquid’ gains.