NEW YORK — New York City’s press credentialing process reached historic new lows this week after a squad of Luigi Mangione superfans reportedly obtained official press passes by correctly answering one question: “Are vibes more important than facts?”, sources have confirmed.
The group, calling themselves “The Mangionistas,” arrived outside Manhattan Supreme Court dressed like they were attending a villain-themed rave hosted by NPR, waving handmade signs and insisting their favorite accused assassin was actually “a misunderstood healthcare reform influencer.”
Local officials defended the credentialing process, explaining that applicants are carefully vetted through a rigorous system involving a clipboard, a feelings wheel, and one mandatory question:
“Would you describe murder as problematic, or more of a conversation starter?”
“We asked if they were members of the press,” said one bureaucrat.
“They said they had a podcast, a ring light, and strong feelings about capitalism. That checks every box in New York.”
Mayor Mamdani was reportedly spotted nearby handing out Mangione T-shirts, tote bags, and “Alleged But Adorable” buttons while reminding supporters that due process is sacred unless the defendant makes socialism look edgy.
Actual reporters complained they still cannot get basic answers from city officials, while murder fan clubs apparently get laminated badges, reserved seating, and complimentary tote bags that say “Mostly Peaceful Coverage.”
Progressive activists praised the development as citizen journalism, because nothing protects democracy like handing press access to people treating an accused killer like a boy band member with a manifesto.
As of press time, the Mangionistas were applying for White House credentials after listing “simping for felonies,” “hating billionaires,” and “owning a tote bag” under prior media experience.
