Tom Brady made his catwalk debut at Gucci’s latest fashion show, proving once again that the man can deflate footballs, defenses, expectations, and now apparently his own circulation, sources have confirmed.
The seven-time Super Bowl champion took to the runway in skin-tight leather skinny jeans that appeared to have been vacuum-sealed onto his legs by an Italian engineer with a grudge.
Fashion insiders called the look “bold,” “transgressive,” and “a brave conversation between masculinity and pants.”
Normal Americans called it “what happens when a 47-year-old quarterback has too much money and nobody in the room willing to say no.”
Brady reportedly told friends backstage, “I’ve won seven rings. I can survive anything, including leather pants that require a shoehorn, two assistants, and a short prayer to Vince Lombardi.”
Gucci designers praised Brady for bringing “athletic elegance and winning energy” to the brand, which experts translated as, “Our last three shows were attended by four influencers and a confused waiter.”
Meanwhile, Hollywood elites who once mocked Brady as a football villain applauded like trained seals now that he had bravely joined their sacred ritual of wearing expensive nonsense in public.
As of press time, Brady was seen in the green room attempting to deflate the jeans after they began challenging his legacy in a higher-pitched voice than Eli Manning.
Michael Vick was singing, “who let the dogs in?”
Brady was singing, “ Please let my dog out !”
Really? Vick electrocuted and tortured animals. What a DBAG comparison. Sure, TB looked ridiculous but what a comparison.
I don’t care who you are. Men do not wear skinny jeans.
If you look like Tom Brady and Jim Morrison yes, you do 😉
Morrison was 27, not 47.
Skinny jeans are ridiculous, and, they don’t look good on anyone. These designers are crying for enough material to finish a garment.
LOL
As a gay male I only wear very tight revealing skin tight jeans. Won’t wear anything else.
He can wear what he wants. We have no right to criticize!
Like the emperor’s new suit? He has every right to wear whatever he wants. He can wear yoga pants and a poofy shirt if he wants. But we have the very same right to criticize or just laugh at him.
Isn’t there evidence that tight pants can make a man impotent. It certaily destroys sperm count…. but now he can hit somw high notes. Who knows, maybe he’s wearing those as a birth control measure.