MINNEAPOLIS — In what organizers called a “bold anti-border statement,” local progressives surrounded their “No Borders Ever” rally with the most militarized barricade this side of a G7 summit, sources have confirmed.
Dubbed the Border Abolition Demonstration Zone, the perimeter featured concrete barriers, velvet ropes, QR-code scanners, and volunteers conducting what they called “trauma-informed Vibe Audits.”
Every entrant was required to present ID, a reusable tote bag, and a three-paragraph apology for capitalism.
A longtime ally was denied entry after being told, “You’re with us, but… you don’t look the part.”
Another was turned away for arriving in a Chevy.
“If you really cared, you’d have arrived by moral bicycle,” a volunteer said, adjusting their ironic mustache.
At the makeshift checkpoint, a bemused reporter asked, “Sooo… you don’t want borders then?”
A protest marshal replied, “Not those borders — only our enlightened, community-centered, totally not-a-border borders.”
Signs reading ABOLISH ICE (Unless We Need Them) fluttered above a newly created agency called TOTE — Totally Open, Totally Ethical Enforcement, staffed entirely by people carrying ID Scanners and clipboards.
Residents locked outside were informed that exclusion was actually a “restorative growth opportunity.”
By nightfall, organizers announced they had applied to the United Nations for official recognition as the Sovereign Republic of Extremely Selective Openness, promising to abolish borders just as soon as everyone met their vibe standards.
As of press time the barricades were being reinforced by a robed, candle-lit “Border-Free Border Guard Choir” chanting about open borders in perfect harmony.
Sounds they just moved the borders of CHAZ to Minneapolis. 🤡 show
Arrest them all for sedition/insurrection and give their homes to “legal” immigrants who want to emerse themselves in America and being American.
Hypocritical Far Left Wing Nuts…. are NUTS.!.!.!
They are Radical Liberals that think Progressivism is going forward when Communism seems to have similarities. Progressivism includes “identity” based, redistribution of wealth, Elites that rule, the mass should be unified and reliance on a Big “god” Government. Communism is more class based with Elites that rule, redistribution of wealth, the mass should be unified and reliance on a Big “god” Government. Both fight against Capitalism and think their social reforms benefit everyone. Progressivism can work within Capitalism but they prefer Socialism.
■ In 1965 the US Progressive Labor Party (PLP) was established after the US Communist Party split..(Marxist-Leninist Communist party).
You clearly have no concept of irony.
Let’s see if I have this right. You need an ID to get into Minneapolis but you fight against showing an id to vote. Hypocrites