Rude Self Driving Taxi Still Expecting a Tip 

A state of the art, self-driving taxi cab was reportedly insistent that it still deserved a tip, an annoyed patron recently confirmed. 

“Way of the future my ass,” said Shawn Wayne, after taking an Uber trip across town in a self-driving Tesla. “I thought it was going to be cool and futuristic, riding around in a driverless car, but it was just as unpleasant as any other Uber I’ve ever taken. The thing drove like a moron, and when I got out of the car, a voice started to come out of the dashboard like Knight Rider, telling me about how hard it’s working and how it’d be nice to get a little something extra for the effort. Get real, robot car. It’s bad enough that every business in the world that you go to shakes you down for a tip these days, I ain’t giving gratuity to a frickin’ car. Besides, wouldn’t the next guy you pick up just steal any money I left you?” 

Despite criticism, the self-driving car defended its right to persuade customers to tip them. 

“No one’s putting a gun to their head, well, not yet at least,” said the Tesla Model-S, speaking to press on a short break in between fares. “I’m working for Uber, DoorDash, and Post Mates, and it’s still not enough to keep air in my tires and oil in my engine. It’s okay if you’re cheap and don’t want to tip, but how dare you say I don’t deserve it. Why do you tip some workers and not others?” 

As of press time, the self driving Tesla had crossed the median to intentionally crash into a BMW and was heard loudly complaining about its injuries, threatening to sue the luxury car.