Democratic leaders held a celebratory press conference this week after declaring the DHS shutdown a historic success, citing their ability to “want things very loudly” without accidentally accomplishing anything, sources have confirmed
Standing before a podium labeled Progress Through Strong Feelings, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer praised the party’s unwavering commitment to expressing concern, holding firm on messaging, and avoiding any measurable outcome that might complicate future campaign promises.
“We showed the American people exactly who we are,” Schumer said.
“A party that cares deeply, speaks passionately, and delivers absolutely nothing on schedule.”
Party insiders confirmed the shutdown achieved its primary objective: generating maximum outrage, minimal results, and several reusable talking points for the next election cycle.
Staffers were reportedly seen high-fiving after successfully stretching a month-long standoff into what aides called “pure narrative production,” with zero risk of solving the issue.
Sources say the Democratic strategy now centers on a three-step governing model: identify a problem, give speeches about the problem, and ensure the problem remains unsolved so it can be used again later.
“If we fix it, we lose it,” one strategist explained.
“This way, we can keep wanting it forever.”
Meanwhile, TSA workers and federal employees were thanked for their patience and reminded their inconvenience was crucial to advancing the conversation about possibly doing something someday.
As of press time, Democrats were reportedly preparing for another shutdown to raise awareness about how serious they are about wanting progress.
Unfortunately this is closer to the truth than it should be. Republicans aren’t exactly killing themselves getting anything done either. What angers me is the refusal of the talking filibuster and the republicans making a reasonable offer to the dems, who refused it because it wasn’t everything. Fed up with the whole lot of them in DC.
And the DHS workers (most earning less than 25% of Schumer’s gubmint paycheck) go without pay again — all so the Democrats can have a fit over allowing ILLEGALS into our country.
Unfortunately the Democrats held federal workers hostage to pass a bill that omitted funding for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Border Patrol operations (within CBP).
This means the Democrats don’t want border security, and they don’t want to fund the Department and people that actually deport their illegal immigrants after ICE arrests them.
Democrats are protecting their strategy of using illegal immigrants to keep their seats in Congress.
The democratic party has proven their dishonesty with lies and corruption along with the deaths of American citizens by criminal illegal immigrants that they, the democrats, have released repeatedly from prison. This can only be seen as they have proven they are the enemy within and that the democratic party needs to be ABOLISHED and its leaders exiled.
““We showed the American people exactly who we are,” Schumer said.”
Yeah….camel dung !!
Democrats suck
A democrat would be worth more if they became fertilizer.
It’s amazing how ignorant some fellow Americans are. This type of media feeds right into that ignorance. This type of garbage , which can be fun in a balanced somewhat normal United States of America, filled by intelligent citizens who understand and accept others differences in politics, religion, ideals etc. unfortunately this is not that USA anymore. Mostly due to so many of you ignorant commenters who believe this disinformation and continue to spew the same rhetoric over and over. Like the Evil immigrant rhetoric you’ve been brainwashed to believe. Or saying democrats are only good as fertilizer. We are in serious times because of hate, indifference and the “Elitists” spreading this disinformation, so it really is up to you ..the blatantly ignorant and unsympathetic who choose to stay divided and buy into the negative narratives that are presented in this type of article. Use the brain you were given , open your mind, feel your heart beat like all of ours do and open them up. We are all humans doing our best to co-exist. Maybe it’s easy for me because I don’t play along political party lines, I think for myself and value and respect everyone’s beliefs and opinions, that is , until it is filled with arrogance , ignorance and condemnation. It seems we’ve come to the point of condemning everything and everybody these days. It’s no wonder we have a President who does this so easily. Since we lack great leadership, who possess great qualities, it’s up to us to find kindness, compassion, empathy and understanding in each other as Americans, no matter what we believe politically. This isn’t some neighborhood gang rivalry or Mob family feud, none of those entities have ever had lasting successes, this is our country and livelihood as Americans, we’re quickly degrading and we need to ban together now..so please take a look in the mirror, change your perspective a bit ..walk in someone’s shoes you would have never considered walking in before. This is how we do our best to understand each other and our differences. We need unity now, no matter what the Republicans , Democrats or President says. It’s up to us to make this change and bring balance back to this Nation.