Several former United States Presidents gathered at a Joe Biden fundraiser earlier this week, which culminated in Bill Clinton and Barack Obama joining the President to send drone bombs into a Yemeni village, sources have confirmed.
“What an awesome sight” said local Democrat Pat Barker, who attended the pricey event. “Three of the finest Presidents you’ll ever see using their trademark charm and charisma to obscure the fact that they just dispatched bombs to a small town in Yemen chock full of civilians for dubious reasons. The greatest to ever do it, right there. They’re like the Chicago Bulls of consequence-free bombings. I can’t believe I get to see this lineup live.”
The fundraiser included many other highlights, including Bill Clinton playing his saxophone, and Obama absolutely destroying Biden in a game of one-on-one basketball.
“We went up there and played all the hits,” said Obama. “We hit them with that trademark Democratic charm, then we warned them that if they don’t vote for Joe Biden they’d be enabling fascism somehow, and then the grand finale, a little fireworks show halfway around the world in a place none of us will ever set foot in. Really makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?”
As of press time, the event had successfully raised 25 million for the Biden campaign, and Yemen locals are still tabulating the final body count from the drone strike.
