After an increase in the local minimum wage to $20 an hour forced Pizza Hut to let a many of its employees go, the pizza chain has debuted an underwhelming new “Two Hours Or It’s Free” policy with its deliveries, sources confirm.
“We wanted to try and put a positive spin on our recent troubles,” said Pizza Hut CEO Aaron Powell, referring to the increase in minimum wage that has caused them to lay off over 800 drivers across the state. “The reality of this new minimum wage is that an average Pizza Hut just isn’t bringing in that kind of money. We’d be operating at a loss if we gave every high school kid we hired 20 bucks an hour. But on the bright side, if we can’t get you the pizza in 120 minutes, it’s on us. That’s the updated California Pizza Hut promise.”
Local customers were displeased upon learning of the new “Two Hours Or It’s Free” promotion.
“Two hours?” asked Doreen Newton, local mother of three. “I ordered at 5:30, you’re telling me it might be another hour and a half still? I knew that flipping a switch and enacting a new 20 dollar minimum wage would have its consequences. Great, now the one employee Pizza Hut can afford to pay has to take orders, make pizzas, and then deliver them. I’m not going to tip them when they get here. That guy makes more than I do and I’m sure it’s gonna be cold.”
As of press time, Little Caesars announced that all Hot-N-Ready pizzas would now cost $45.
Thank a democrat!