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Home U.S. News

Democrats Propose Branding Kentucky a ‘Tornado Free Zone’

Joe King by Joe King
August 15, 2024
in U.S. News
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Democrats Propose Branding Kentucky a ‘Tornado Free Zone’
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After a devastating series of tornados ripped through Kentucky yesterday, prominent Democrats are calling for the state to declare itself a ‘Tornado Free Zone’ to help ensure the future safety of its residents, source have confirmed. 

“Enough is enough, it’s time we do something,” said President Joe Biden. “And what I mean by that is enacting some theoretical rules about what is and isn’t allowed. That ought to show those tornados that we mean business about enacting change around here! Consider this problem solved, America!”



Locals that had endured the violent storms were confident that the President’s leadership would deter future incidents.

“Oh great, now the tornados will see the signs and reroute themselves into Ohio,” said Arthur Stern, a resident of Fort Thomas, Kentucky. “If only we acted sooner I wouldn’t have to rebuild my garage and get my truck fixed from where that tree fell on it. This new policy is gonna do wonders for us all.”

As of press time, several tornados were rapidly approaching Kentucky and showed no signs of slowing down, despite its recent declaration as a Tornado Free State.

Tags: gun free zoneKentuckyPMTornado
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Comments 9

  1. CandygramForMongo says:
    1 year ago

    A tornado sanctuary zone would be more fitting! Just make an area that only tornadoes can go!!!

    Reply
    • Charles Sigars says:
      1 year ago

      Yeah. Washington D.C

      Reply
  2. XRTO says:
    9 months ago

    The one big question remains. Which brand of bourbon has had the greatest impact on this weather phenomenon?

    Reply
  3. Cheeves says:
    9 months ago

    Yea , give ‘em rooms at the Ritz Carlton! I know there’s better hotels in New York, but blowin in like they do they couldn’t possibly get reservations at them

    Reply
    • Ron Burgandy says:
      9 months ago

      What ever the weather person likes. Probably Really Good F**cking Bourbon. Official brand of the meteorologist guild of America

      Reply
      • Festus says:
        9 months ago

        Yea well I’m kinda partial to rebel yell, we get a cask every now and again down to the Long Branch. I really can’t reckon what bourbon has to do with the weather no how .

        Reply
        • James Schoenman says:
          9 months ago

          Dude, the more you sip, the less you worry ’bout what’s going on outside! Maker’s 46 is about the smoothest.

          Reply
    • Laura R Wagner says:
      9 months ago

      Sure they can! All they have to do is say they are illegal aliens.

      Reply
  4. XRTO says:
    9 months ago

    The race is on to see which bourbon brand tornadoes prefer. Jim Beam is currently ahead by a nose.

    Reply

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