In a shocking reveal that has auditors scratching their heads and taxpayers clutching their wallets, sources have confirmed that the unborn have inexplicably collected a staggering $69 million in unemployment benefits over the past 15 years, sources have confirmed.
Despite lacking Social Security numbers—or even a birthdate—these prenatal claimants have apparently mastered the art of government paperwork from the womb.
The windfall was discovered during a routine audit of the Unemployment Insurance program, when auditors noticed applications signed with ultrasound images instead of signatures. “It’s a real head-scratcher,” admitted one bewildered IRS official. “We’re still trying to figure out how fetuses are faxing documents.”
In an effort to curb further prenatal pilfering, the Department of Labor has introduced new guidelines that include a mandatory in-person interview and a birth certificate submission—measures that have been met with resistance from various maternity wards.
As of press time, several 20-week-old claimants are reportedly appealing the decision, arguing that their prenatal yoga classes qualify as “actively seeking employment.”
Unfortunately people in our government have dumped everything into a playpen and assigned know-nothings to “lead” them.
get them off the unemployment wagon. that is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. apparently the people running things are a waste of space.. STOP THE NUT CASES OUT THERE!!!!!!!
Uhhhh… Linda, this is satire, not factual. In your defense, however, it is not all that far from believable as a democrat/liberal/progressive/socialist policy. The inmates truly do run that asylum.
This is a joke you morons.
This is a master plan of killing Off Americans.It takes money . And our government has no problem stealing and killing us . No matter how stupid it sounds . This has many phases Including the final end of humans. Except themselves living in their cities underground. They don’t count on God’s plan . Because they believe they are gods !
Look no further than The 12 synthetic clones of Hillary . All newly created . There’s the democrats unborn ! She told This herself to the world. Say you ! Don’t believe they can create look alike’s ! They are working on re-creating the Woolley mammoth . It’s suppose to be good for the environment . Their food was humans ! They just did the Dire wolves.Dead for over 1000 years !! Humans are being replaced And idiots are going first. Pay attention to how young Jezebel keeps getting . She is not the only one. Joe Biden ! His models are old because he was old before the re-creation . They just needed him long enough to keep hold of the Presidency . What do you think all of this population replacement is For . If Americans don’t quit protesting their own country . They started with illegals from all over the world to replace Americans with. Then like Europe .Obama and Biden brought thousands of Muslims into this country and never vetted one. . Right now they are trying to build and epic city outside of Dallas Tx. They are trying To put Sharia law into America. Look up Their interviews Where they say they don’t have to obey our laws. Abbott has the Texas Rangers investigating this . He wows that he will stop this . Bondi where are you ? And Ice , it’s time to remove Obama’s buddies . Because the Mexicans are not killing enough of us. They needed the real terrorists They will soon find out the Muslims who are trying to take over America will remove them. Does Europe come to mind. .
Wake and stop being the fools politicians use use.
Sorry but it’s not With censoring . One must change the way it is told Or . This was reported in the news . But when we tell things . We are placed on the Terrorist list One has to be able to actually read between the lines Better yet research
They will remove you
J.K. Around is really scraping the barrel with this. Not funny or really satirical. There are a lot of funny things to write about. Tariffs, deportations, judges, etc. Unfortunately, those are not available to make fun of.
Just look at the state of minasota. The corrupt governor tampon Tim loves Ian Omar. There’s a mass population of muslin and Somalian in that state. Tampon Tim spent his honeymoon in China. He let protestors been the city to the ground. His wife left the windows open cause she loved the burning smell. Omar does fund raising speeches for cair. That support terrorists group. One can thank the self proclaimed muslim con artist bath house barry for this taking place. He just announced he’s a globalist.