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Home Politics

Who Else Will Joe Biden Pardon?

Joe King by Joe King
December 6, 2024
in Politics
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Who Else Will Joe Biden Pardon?
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After Joe Biden controversially pardoned his son Hunter of all charges against him, many are wondering who else might get the same preferential treatment as his underwhelming presidency winds down. Here are the top 10 people Joe Biden us rumored to pardon next!

Corn Pop

In a tremendous display of redemption and humility, the President has hinted that he may give a second chance to the hoodlum that gave him so much trouble all those years ago.



Diddy

Desperate to win black voters back to the Democratic party, Biden recently freed the rapper/mogul, despite his over 30 pending sexual assault lawsuits against him. The move backfired, of course.

R. Kelly

Sadly, some errors made in the process of releasing Diddy also somehow led to R. Kelly being released from jail as well. Biden’s office has issued a press release, taking full acceptance and claiming it was “our bad.”

Jeffrey Epstein

Biden hadn’t got the memo on Epstein, and asked if “we could him outta there before something bad happens to him.” He was pretty bummed out when he heard the news, reportedly.

Ghislaine Maxwell

“Well fine,” said Biden upon learning of the suspicious details surrounding Epstein’s death several years ago. “Can we at least spring Ghislaine out before they get her too?”

Jared From Subway

“Whatever happened to that guy,” asked Biden, blissfully aware of the heinous acts commited by many of his favorite people. “Let’s spring him out the joint and get him talking to children about healthy lifestyles again!”

People Locked Up For Marijuana Offenses All Over The Country

Nah, just kidding! Hunter is still the only drug user to earn that kind of leniency from Joe Biden. Even the ones who did things that are now considered legal will have to serve out the remainder of their sentences, due to their parent’s lack of connections in Washington. Sorry about that!

The Second Would-Be Trump Assassin

“We should give this guy another shot,” said Biden. “Chance! I mean chance! Forgive my language. Please don’t print that I said that. Stop writing this down! Oh dear. How long until I’m not the president anymore?”

Martha Stewart

Aides have repeatedly insisted to Biden that Stewart was released years ago, but he bizarrely keeps insisting that we free her. We’re counting this one, even though it technically isn’t going to happen.

Hunter Biden, Again

To the surprise of no one, Joe has made it clear on the way out that his son Hunter isn’t allowed to get in trouble for anything, ever. Should be fine.

Tags: Hunter Bidenjoe bidenPardon
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Comments 16

  1. Joe Modarots says:
    7 months ago

    I think the people who got put in jail for marijuana charges might still have a chance at getting a pardon from Biden…
    Except the ones Kamala put away, their screwed !

    Reply
  2. Joe shmoe says:
    7 months ago

    Bidens are all scum
    Including Dr Doolittle his wife
    Included in the scumbag hall of fame is
    Kamala
    Bidens
    Obamas
    All the George bush family
    Pelosi and her nephew newscom

    Reply
    • JMGB says:
      7 months ago

      Dude!, that’s offensive to Dr. Doolittle! This DD was a nice guy. Only similarities with Joe Biden and his gang of family and friends criminals, is that both spoke to animals!

      Reply
  3. Mountain man says:
    7 months ago

    I used to think as a kid how I would love to visit Washington D.C ..now I can’t get with in 50 miles of the city limits because of the stench coming from the deep stink created by Obama and all his puppets…we all know what Marxist means ..never would I vote for some communist puke..and funny thing is neither would they..they want to be the royalty not the pheasants

    Reply
  4. Avi says:
    7 months ago

    Ole’ Kabul Joe is obviously the lowest of the low. He couldn’t get lower…well, sure he’s capable of doing even that. But all of his enablers and supporters and the ignoramuses that saw fit to see him as a President deserve a whole lot of blame for it all.

    Reply
  5. Pia says:
    7 months ago

    What really irritates me is that Obama himself said before Joe decided to run for President “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to f–k things up.” More people should have listened. Lock them all up and throw away the key.

    Reply
  6. Dakotajoe says:
    7 months ago

    All you trumpers are just uneducated plebs. The economy is excellent!! Biden saved us from Covid, got us out of Afghanistan and is saving the environment, even as other countries refuse. We need immigration for all the jobs Americans refuse to do. And, migrants commit fewer crimes than citizens do. Get your facts straight.

    Reply
    • Rich says:
      7 months ago

      Your the joke

      Reply
    • Cal says:
      7 months ago

      Dacodeajoke

      Reply
    • Cat says:
      7 months ago

      Respectfully, you’re not living in reality. Please seek help. You’ll be so much freer once your eyes are opened. Bless you. You’re in my prayers.!

      Reply
    • MAGA Man says:
      7 months ago

      Dakotajoe. First, he should pardon you. For you always come in as the second hand fool.
      Next he should pardon Adam Schiff.For you know he is near with just a sniff. Did he not say about
      Swalwell (D-CA) he has good taste, when he bedded down with Fang – Fang for a little Bang, Bang.
      He was full of crap. On the Russia – Russia sham, didn’t have the facts. He was a useless tack.
      Opened his mouth, he lied. At committee meetings, he lied. On T.V. he lied. People knew he had died.
      Dose he know, that he smells as if he spent the week, playing and swimming ln Lake Bandkini? S*+T.

      Reply
    • Nathan Hale says:
      7 months ago

      We need a constitutional amendment to burn all the traitors alive, starting with Dakotajoe.

      Reply
    • William Triebel says:
      7 months ago

      MSNBC zombie?

      Reply
  7. Charlie says:
    7 months ago

    Why doesn’t he pardon all abortion doctors, clinics, nurses, anyone charged.with anything abortive.for the next 10 years. That would show that the dems. Really care about women’s reproductive rights. They don’t. They want anger and fear. Another reason why dem. Leadership is wrong.

    Reply
  8. Pedestrian says:
    7 months ago

    The ridiculous out rage over Biden’s understandable pardon of his sone would be laudable if it wasn’t so craven. Trump pardoned Jared’s father is is now planning to make him ambassador to France.

    Reply
  9. OB says:
    5 months ago

    Maybe there should be no pardons for the likes of murderers, pedophilia, sex trafficking, child porn, slave trading, kidnapping, drug lords, major financial scammers, repeat felons or for similar offences. If the offender had a good lawyer and was given a fair decision by his/her peers based on the evidence presented the individual should serve the sentence. There are many inmates currently serving long sentences that do not meet the above offences that can be considered for a Presidental pardon. Looking at dementia Joe B pardons above, the only one meeting a pardon under the conditions I specified would be Martha Stewart. Just saying.

    Reply

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