Continuing with recent trends in the league, today the NFL announced that beginning next season, all forms of tackling would be outlawed.
“Enough is enough, “said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “We’ve got to keep our players safe. And now that we’ve banned high hits, low hits, and hip-drop tackles, we realize we’re putting players in a miserable position of trying to achieve tackles that somehow don’t violate any of our newest rules. Well, forget all that, we’re just gonna do flags or something next year. Does that sound good to everyone?”
NFL players were dismayed at the news.
“That sounds well and fine, but I grew up playing physical football,” said one anonymous NFL defender. “I’ve never played flag football in my life. Why don’t you just tell me to start playing volleyball or something next season? I knew I should have become a professional wrestler. This is bullshit.”
As of press time, the NFL announced it would also be calling a penalty on players who don’t perform excessive celebrations after big plays next season.
Goodwill might just as well cancel football forever including his high paying job as if this happens no one will want to watch anymore. Sponsorship will pull their money because of the loss of viewers. Has this man completely lost his mind.
You realize this is a joke. Although it would make any difference to me.
No, he does not ! No, they do not ! It requires a minimum level of education, to understand the difference. That is part of the entertainment of reading SKRAPE . Please sit back and enjoy it. Stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us. LOL !
It was probably his mother. She felt sorry for all of those “soccer moms” who couldn’t stand watching their babies get hurt.
Use a lasso and hog tie em!
Is this a joke?
look at the auther’s name….Joe King…..IE…..joking…..sheesh
Seriously? Are you that stupid?
But it was on CBS, ABC, PBS, NBC, MSNBC, WAPO, and NYTimes; it cannot be a joke, unless all 7 of these believed we were that stupid!!!!!!
“Stupid” is such an insulting word. Can’t you find a nicer way to say how sorry you are he was born without a brain?
I have some sympathy for those who can no longer distinguish between a “silly” joke and a would-be serious comment by a weirdo, part of our society having already apparently gone mad.
GREAT!! Now, I wish they would ban all whistles for infractions. The whistles are confusing and delay the game. Obviously when a team is on a roll, it does not want to be stopped at a key moment for what is usually a minuscule error which should be ignored by the officials.
This guy is a moron