A telecommunications meltdown at Newark Liberty International Airport has forced air traffic controllers to guide planes using cups and strings, in a scene straight out of a kindergarten craft project, sources have confirmed.
The outage, blamed on “Biden-era infrastructure neglect,” crippled radar systems, leaving controllers to whisper landing instructions via makeshift tin-can phones, per FAA insiders.
“Cleared for landing—can you hear me now?” one controller was heard yelling into a Dixie cup.
Conservatives on X are cackling, with one user posting, “This is what happens when Dems defund progress!”
Trump, on Truth Social, called it “the most low-tech airport ever,” vowing to “make aviation great again.”
Pilots, navigating the busy airspace, reported “surprisingly clear” cup comms, though some strings snapped mid-flight.
Liberals blamed climate change for the tech failure, while the right pointed to Newark Mayor Ras Baraka’s “sanctuary city distractions.”
As of press time, Baraka was spotted pitching a “Cups for All” initiative to fund string upgrades.
This is also baraka and the DNC’s guaranteed new version of election security: citizens, illegal aliens, repeating illegal alien and democrat voters only have to whisper (for privacy in voting) into any cup and their votes will be automatically be recorded, tabulated, and the results could be reported even before the polls open. If it’s good enough for aeroplanes, it’s good enough for They-The-Proletariat.
This form of communication is possible only because of recent advancements in string theory. Getting their strings crossed is how Oceanic 815 got “Lost” in that Netflix series.
NJ has become the same cesspool as NYC the armpit of the east coast. Democrats destroyed a great state like NJ and New York people are leaving so fast that the won’t be able to survive without doubling your taxes these greedy bastard don’t know how to stay or reduce there budgets. They are both on free fall and the crash is coming hard. Keep voting for asshole democrats and you will have to move also because you won’t be able to afford to live there. NY NJ are becoming just like asshole California. Wake up before it to late they are destroying some of the best states in the country. Democrats are so greedy they don’t care about anything but power and money. Get out before the crash comes. Why is every democrat controlled state in ruins and going bankrupt and crime out of control because they don’t care about you.
Quite the stupid rant. Blue states send in a dollar to the fed and only receive back, on average 80 cents back. Where as the majority of red states send in a $1 and get back $1.35. So blue states are more economical viable than red states. Means there are more jobs in blue states than red states. Asshole California has the 3rd largest economy in the world.
So people are not running away. Also they may have higher taxes but they have better infrastructure and schools than red states. They have more services for those that need help.
But you go back to your trailer in the hills somewhere and tell us how bad NY and NJ are.
One more point. The Republicans have been slashing the budget for years and giving tax breaks to the rich. I have never heard them talk about upgrading the FAA. They have not cared until this year. Doge cut a bunch of employees earlier in the year. So take some credit for messing up the system.
It was just reported by the new person over this . The equipment they use throughout the whole system is of the 1950’’s Here’s Obama And Magoo handy work . Keep voting for your killers And they will oblige you
And they have to order parts for their computers from China .
Given their concern for keeping illegals spending taxpayers money on everything from food to lawyers etc: to make illegals comfy
One would think they would at least lovke their own lives. Because they fly as well as we do
It’s amazing how elected morons seem to believe they can and have the right to be our dictators
It is all about illegals. They have destroyed everything. The stupidity in that statement is really frightening. But you just keep following the fearmongering morons on talk radio. I would like to declare West Virginia and South Dakota as MAGA MORON safe zones. Where you could move to and live off the land like they did back in 1910. No services. You can make your own rules. No taxes. I want you to be happy. Of course when there is a storm or you get sick you don’t get to come back.