In a surreal Vatican spectacle, pop star Justin Bieber is set to hold a public confessional with Pope Leo XIV, aiming to admit his “selfish” ways and absolve God of blame for his bad moods, sources have confirmed.
The “Sorry” singer, grappling with a recent X meltdown where he blamed the Almighty for a rough morning, will kneel before the Chicago-born pontiff to “set the record straight.”
“I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but that’s on me!” Bieber reportedly plans to say, per insiders.
Conservatives on X are eating it up, with one user joking, “Bieber’s finally saying ‘Baby, baby, baby, no’ to excuses!”
The right hails Pope Leo XIV for steering the “wayward” star straight, while liberals roll their eyes, calling it a PR stunt.
The Vatican, embracing the moment, will livestream the confessional, expecting millions to tune in.
As of press time, Bieber was spotted practicing his penance by rewriting “Despacito” as a hymn for Sunday Mass.