In a bombshell discovery, a secret passage beneath the Capitol’s floorboards—used to smuggle alcohol to Congress members during sessions—has been uncovered, exposing decades of tipsy legislating, sources have confirmed.
Renovation crews stumbled upon the Prohibition-era tunnel, stocked with dusty whiskey bottles and a 1920s moonshine ledger, linking it to lawmakers who “needed a buzz to vote,” per historians.
Conservatives on X erupted, with one user quipping, “No wonder they pass such loony bills!”
GOP lawmakers, like Senator Ted Cruz, called for an investigation into whether current Dems are still using it, pointing to late-night sessions and slurred speeches.
“This explains Biden’s filibusters!” Cruz roared.
Liberals downplayed the find, with one rep joking, “It’s just vintage decor!”
Historians note the tunnel likely fueled the 18th Amendment debates, ironically.
Trump, on Truth Social, demanded the passage be named “Drunk Dems’ Alley.”
As of press time, Nancy Pelosi was spotted eyeing the floorboards, muttering about a “lost vintage” from 2018.
No wonder the Dems stick together. There all drunk and void of logic. This is a common thing with lemmings.
Maybe that will explain the cacophony of diatribe always rattling the windows where ever the democrats are.
Satire is fun to read but hopefully no one believes everything they read.
Woohoo!! Always thought the democrats why high. When thee decide on voting!!!
Got to comment on my little speech above. No I didn’t have anything to drink officer!!!
Pelosi has a tube running down there keeping her alcohol flowing .
Her drunken state is always present
It should be a law. No drinking on the Job .
No wonder they are dung bats. Look at mad max. And perhaps they will stop running the place 24/7 and go back to only a few months. And return to the jobs they should have besides stealing from Americans. It’s stealing time when you are suppose to be working and getting paid . While drunk or off setting off fire alarms No wonder headboard Harris stays drunk . She must be living down there with her stash Paid for by our tax dollars