Susan Monarez, the recently fired CDC director, has barricaded herself inside headquarters with a futon, lava lamp, and three pallets of kale chips, sources have confirmed.
Witnesses say Monarez stapled her nameplate to the office door with glitter tape and shouted, “You can’t fire me, I identify as employed.” Since then, she’s been issuing “official guidance” on sticky notes, including a mandate requiring socks with sandals indoors and new pronouns for COVID: They/Them.
Staff members, afraid to argue, report she has designated the hallway a “safe space” where disagreement is banned. One intern was allegedly forced to clap every time Monarez ate a granola bar.
Meanwhile, Trump and RFK Jr. were spotted outside shopping for industrial locks. “She’s like a bad roommate who won’t move out after college,” Trump joked. RFK Jr. added, “She can keep the lava lamp, but the CDC belongs to the people.”
Democrats have hailed Monarez’s resistance as “historic.” Chuck Schumer compared her to “George Washington at Valley Forge,” while AOC offered to send oat milk “for morale.”
As of press time, Monarez was still inside, reportedly demanding DoorDash install a drive-thru window at CDC headquarters.
Put on riot gear and break the door down. Remove her and bring her in custody but monitor her for mental issues. I pray she simmer down and except the Presidents decision.
Time to take the trash out. Send in police officers in riot gear escorting army engineers to dismantle the barricades and arrest the perp for trespassing on government property and you’ll likely get resisting arrest charges, as well as disorderly conduct. It’s time the adults stat acting like adults and those that want to act like criminals be treated as such!
It’s really simple solution. She is NO LONGER employed so you inform her to leave. If she doesn’t, you tell her she must leave or if she doesn’t, you trespass her. DC has extra boots on the ground. After you have told her to leave and she doesn’t she is trespassing on federal property. Better yet, shut the whole unnecessary cdc anyway. We don’t need them, we don’t want them. Fire all of the whack jobs and tell them to kick rocks. F^CK THE cdc, the who while we’re at it.
is she in there shredding damning documents? GET HER OUT!
Our President knows how to have fun!! It’s a job with ENORMOUS responsibility which he handles SOO well, thank the Lord! His lighter moments remind me of my very capable (now deceased) Dad who enjoyed the same type of levity!!
Lock the doors, turn off electricity, water and ac on her and blast YMCA at her office. MAKE HER STAY 1 WEEK before letting her leave.
Time for introspection in the brig!!
She is obviously a whack job. She was formally fired and as any other place, she should be escorted out if she refuses as said she is trespassing and needs to legally be charged. Don’t go to her level! get her out!!
She is obviously a whack job ! She’s already made a fool of herself now it’s time to take action go in and legally take her out of the building as soon as possible. Don’t play games be firm get her out!!
Yu
Wait. I don’t get it.
CANCEL HER DIRECT DEPOSIT AND LET THE RIOT SQUAD HANDCUFF HER AND DRAG HEF OUT BY HER FEET!!’
Nothing a simple tear gas cannister can’t take care of !!
More power to you, Monarez! Your actions show both integrity and courage, two attributes that are entirely lacking in your strident opponents.
You be smoking some real bad shit lady.
Here we go again a DEI person thinks they can’t be fired or removed because they’re special. Just stop paying her and cancel all her benefits and remove all security badges and security clearances. Next slap the cuffs on her and file criminal trespassing charges against her.
These people need to be put in their place immediately or put in jail. They are just government employees and anyone can get removed. Drag her out screaming period.
You said it, I agree whole heartedly.
Anyone else would be charged by now for mortgage fraud!
Have people lost the ability to recognize satire?
No they haven’t. Satire like this is a way of telling you what really has happened without being removed It’s up to you to interpret it.
It’s a The thing that is put in a holster on your side. It can’t be called by it’s name on the net But it can be called a force multiplier
Hell hath no fury like a fired feminist dolt.
Hell hath no fury like a fired feminist.
When we get fired there is no compensation or being able to just stay. We pay her salary. Send in the US Marshals and remove every one of them you think their jobs are into their death. Americans must remember their last attempt at removing most of the population by a virus. It has not yielded the numbers they were aiming for.
Viruses are man made. And Fauci and the CDC have created many .,Fauci and Birx created the monkey virus. Where they murdered and sterilized thousands of Africans. That when they brought it to America had to have a more antiseptic name Called AIDS that is stilling Killing .
Bacteria is in our world not viruses .
Next time they come at you with the needle Remember who is really in charge and gave you your entire time of living and death and the how and when .