Chicago – Mayor Brandon Johnson reassured Chicago residents this week that while they absolutely do not need firearms to protect their families, he still requires a $30 million taxpayer-funded army of armed guards to protect him from the consequences of his own policies, Sources have confirmed
Standing behind what observers described as three battalions of police, armored SUVs, rooftop snipers, and at least one emotional-support helicopter, Johnson reportedly said no civilian should ever own a rifle capable of defending life, liberty, or a parking space.
“Nobody needs weapons of war,” he declared from inside a moving ring of government-issued weapons of war.
“The public’s job is to be vulnerable, obedient, and available for lecturing.”
City officials defended the expense, explaining that progressive leaders are uniquely endangered because their ideas are so compassionate, so historic, and so completely detached from reality that they require round-the-clock armed protection.
One aide clarified that if citizens were allowed to defend themselves, “they might begin to question why they’re funding an elite security detail for the same people who told them safety is a myth.”
The mayor’s office also unveiled a new violence-reduction strategy encouraging citizens to de-escalate home invasions by reading burglars a land acknowledgment and offering them gender-neutral snack packs.
As of press time, Johnson was expected to announce an additional $12 million for personal security after learning that disarmed voters can still throw tomatoes.
Mayor Johnson also believes you can’t jail your way out of crime. Good knowledge for the criminals.
An educated public would have abandoned the socialist experiment long ago.
This guy need removed immediately and No bodyguards for any politicians governor, mayor, the Taxpayers job is the President and family members, till out of office, then they have to pay for their own anyone that wants bodyguards must pay for them out of their paycheck, that includes vaccinations, any trips pay for them their self Never Taxpayers Money for any special treatment only the President and his family
Johnson is your typical liberal communist that sings good songs and tell everyone that the white men is the reason why people of color are suffering. The prove of his leftist thinking is just look at how bad the overall crime is up and his approval rating is less than 10% and business and people that could afford it ARE LEAVING THE CITY ( it used to be good. Till lori Lightfoot AND JONHSON WERE ELECTED ) it is over citizen . No one can save Chicago . That ship has sailed
Not my problem.
Just another politician who benefited from DEI voters.
Hey Chicago – you get what you voted for – unless Mayor Johnson somehow got into this position of power unlawfully without the popular vote??
Chicago voters apparently keep shooting themselves in the foot and then complain about the gun.
His initials BJ fits him perfectly. TURN ILLINOIS RED
He’s a real POS vote him out and lock him up