In an ironic twist of financial activism, Democratic members of Congress have reportedly doubled down on their protests against billionaire innovator Elon Musk by buying up large quantities of Tesla stock, sources have confirmed.
The move, described as a “strategic investment in dissent,” aims to hit Musk where it hurts: his wallet, by turning the legislators into major shareholders who can influence company decisions from within.
The strategy began after a particularly fiery committee hearing on renewable energy, where Musk’s plans for Martian colonization were ridiculed as “pie-in-the-sky.” In response, the Democrats devised a plan not just to criticize, but to capitalize, pooling together resources to buy shares en masse. “If you can’t beat him, buy him,” quipped one senator, who wished to remain anonymous.
This unexpected turn of events has puzzled many on Wall Street, with analysts scrambling to reassess Tesla’s future prospects. Meanwhile, Musk responded with a tweet: “Delighted to welcome our new board members. Board meetings just got more interesting!”
As of press time, Tesla’s stock price has seen an unexpected rally, prompting speculation that the Democrats might just be the company’s unlikely saviors—or their own worst enemy.
If you are a cheap dem, crook, You boycott, riot on Tesla’s stock and drive the price of a car down.
You can buy one, buy it when it’s cheap.
Talk about insider trading
It’s not “insider trading,” it’s simply “smart investing,” from the same people who name Inflation bills as Anti-Inflation, and Open Borders as Border security.
The Gov of Minnesota Tampon Waltz Keeps cheering on the Arsonists. Making Tesla stocks go down
But folks look this up. Musk funds their State Governments retirement and pensions
Tampon Timmy is an imbecile
Do they really think Elon is stupid? Do they want to help him make money? I’ve seen some backfired strategies before but this one is priceless