Altering crime stats—basically catfishing the entire country like a woke dating profile—was D.C.’s latest trick, sources have confirmed.
The numbers got dressed up, filtered, and photoshopped until the city looked safer than Mayberry on a Sunday morning.
Armed robbery?
Now just “spontaneous wallet sharing.”
Carjackings became “alternative Uber.”
Stabbings on the Metro? “urban acupuncture.”
By the time the statisticians were done, D.C. wasn’t a crime-ridden mess—it was a spa retreat with a little background fireworks.
Even the late actors who played Andy Griffith and Barney Fife would see through this scam, calling it “down right dumb” from the grave.
Mayberry had Otis the drunk, but Andy never tried to sell him as a “self-directed wellness coach.”
And Barney, who once gave himself a ticket, would still look like a crime-fighting genius compared to D.C.’s paper-pushers firing blanks on spreadsheets while “alternate uber” drivers borrow police cruisers for their next ride share.
Trump and his staff saw straight through the cover-up and sent in reinforcements.
“You can call it what you want,” Trump said, “but people still know when their car or wallet is missing. Enough is enough.”
As of press time, woke officials were considering rebranding looting as “community shopping with enthusiasm.”
Stats are like math. They always tell the real story when given correctly. Remember you can only hide the truth so long.
Distortion of stats is the democrats personal weapons. They use to destroy.
It’s their way of conning half of America. Into thinking they can’t trust what they Actually see and hear. Stat number one is their race card. Africa was the one that sold its people And today they have over 7 million of their own people as slaves . And these white slavery owners called democrats . Want everyone to believe that white people created slavery.Slavery has been around for over 6000 years And the real stats Say . There have been more whites made slaves than blacks ever were. If blacks were to actually see the truth Democrats would lose their base of control .
Sorry but one stat that can not be refuted. DC’s many black mayors have been nothing short of democrats usable clowns All are as corrupt as their counterparts .Other stats show that over 98% of all black mayors of other cities around America are corrupt as well ! And another stat is Those that are. Are always democrats! What is the biggest stat that can’t be denied. Over 98% of the corrupt democrats are white people ! Guess why. Because it was always the democrats that were slave owners They allow crimes by blacks on white thinking they can kill us all. But the fact is Crime by anyone no matter your color hurts the entire nation! Just believe your own eyes Schumer made a tv appearance claiming his safe ability to stroll DC . What he didn’t want you to see Is all of his security with him and that famous black car with him. Talk about a con job !
Now can you see it ?
Unde
“Even a dog knows the difference between being tripped over and being kicked” was said by Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Dogs are smarter than most Dems… obviously.
Dogs are smarter than ALL Dems!