Democratic leaders reportedly went into full crisis mode moments before Speaker Mike Johnson’s press conference, frantically contacting major networks and pleading with producers not to air it live, sources have confirmed.
Leaked messages from DNC group chats reveal one panicked staffer typing, “Whatever you do, don’t let voters hear this — he’s… telling the truth.”
Another strategist allegedly warned CNN that “fact exposure can be fatal to polling numbers,” while a senior aide was overheard muttering, “We lied and fake-promised too hard to stop now.”
According to witnesses, as soon as Johnson began calmly explaining the shutdown facts, MSNBC abruptly cut to a special report on the emotional lives of endangered salamanders.
Meanwhile, The Washington Post published a preemptive editorial titled “Why Accuracy Is a Tool of Oppression.”
By the end of the conference, Democrats were said to have barricaded the Capitol press room with diversity pamphlets and compostable protest signs.
One anonymous intern was seen frantically unplugging microphones while shouting, “If you tell them what we said, democracy dies in transparency!”
As of press time, White House officials were reportedly drafting new guidelines limiting public access to “potentially hazardous truths” in the interest of national emotional safety.
Say this isn’t true, Democrats are the DEFENDERS of free speech aren’t they?
This site is satirical.
Democrats have proven over and over again that they will do whatever they can, lie, cheat and steal, to regain power! They need to voted out of office!!
They are pure evil!
I am sure that some may still have decency, but it has been drummed out of them as a politician! They are the ones who need to start stepping up and not allowing the communist bunch to take over our country!!!
Yes it is Satire, but also true in some aspect ,lol Democrats are comical but terribly trying to convince people nothing is they’re fault , they point a finger at everyone else but what they don’t realize three fingers point back at them , lol
Who needs Terrorists and enemies when we have democrats
Every democrat voter crawls up the anus of the most evil people who sit throughout our country In our Chambers.
We are tired of illegals and past people who do nothing but receive. Off the backs of working people.
If White people stop working There will be no aid to anyone. There are not enough decent working Black people to keep up 59 billion Muslims and blacks on welfare
Absolutely these DEMORATS are no longer the PARTY OF THE PEOPLE,NO LONGER, THRY ARE JUST RADICAL LEFT WING LUNATICS .THEY WILL NEVER EVER GET BACK WHAT THRY HAVE LOST.
you got that right