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Home U.S. News

Happy Valley Residents Condemned for Evicting Wokest Resident

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
September 5, 2025
in U.S. News
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An Oregon family discovered an uninvited man living beneath their condo in a fully tricked-out crawlspace apartment, sources have confirmed.

The intruder, found with a meth pipe and “redistributed” power hookups, was immediately embraced by progressive activists who argued that “property rights are a colonial construct” and that crawlspaces should be declared “community equity zones.”



The residents, now left with the cleanup bill,and larger utility bills were scolded for their “selfish refusal to subsidize marginalized subterranean lifestyles.”

Several activists went further, declaring Happy Valley “the next Portland spin-off” and promising to turn every garage, crawlspace, and garden shed into a “safe space for rent-free resistance.”

Portland media outlets praised the squatter as a “visionary of affordable housing,” while a nearby university rushed to launch a major in Crawlspace Studies.

As of press time, the Oregon Department of Equity announced a pilot program to offer free basements to anyone with a woke science degree and a working meth pipe.

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Comments 2

  1. Ray Martin says:
    2 weeks ago

    Typical Bullshit wonder how many of those people have offered that poor man a craw space in their house Lmao luckily they didn’t shoot the S.O.B. Cuz down here in Texas he more then likely got shot

    Reply
  2. sean richman says:
    1 week ago

    That wasn’t even funny,it sounds like the confirmed that this entity was a liberal freeloader and don’t they carry a brain disease that would”leach”up thru the floors and ruin the people above.I think that it was called”librgrene:

    Reply

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