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Home World News

Holy Roller: Pope Francis Debuts Bulletproof Faith Chariot

Joe King by Joe King
April 6, 2025
in World News
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Pope Francis has introduced a revolutionary new Pope Mobile during his first public appearance since being hospitalized—it’s not just a vehicle, but a state-of-the-art bulletproof wheelchair, sources have confirmed.

This groundbreaking move was unveiled during a prayer service at St. Peter’s Square shortly after the Pope was discharged from the hospital, where he was treated for pneumonia. The wheelchair, dubbed ‘The Holy Roller,’ combines high-end security with cutting-edge mobility solutions, tailored specifically for the 86-year-old pontiff’s needs.

The design focuses on mobility within a secure framework, featuring bulletproof glass and a specially designed enclosure that allows the Pope to navigate the square with both ease and safety. ‘This isn’t just a ride; it’s his chariot of faith,’ commented a Vatican spokesperson.

Besides the security features, the Holy Roller emphasizes environmental consciousness, sporting an eco-friendly setup that aligns with the Pope’s advocacy for sustainability. ‘It runs on prayers and a pinch of holy water,’ the Pope humorously remarked during his first public appearance with the new setup.

As of press time, Vatican gift shops were reportedly rushing to create miniature replicas of the Pope’s new wheelchair, while crowds at St. Peter’s Square were buzzing with excitement to catch a glimpse of this modern marvel in papal transportation.

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Comments 6

  1. Paul Dmoch says:
    1 month ago

    Last we knew Pope Francis was 88 not 86 unless he became younger in the hospital.

    Reply
  2. GSM says:
    1 month ago

    First off America is not under the Pope . And the things that man believes and spews
    When he stands before God That bullet proof chair will do him no good
    America was created to escape the Vatican’s tyranny And when our country was as created It was against the law to be a Catholic Both the crown and the Vatican have no control over America Even though our chambers are full of Jesuit Catholics. All of which think like the Pope does
    He believes in the murdering of the unborn and so do those in our chambers The Pope pushes Homosexuality and so do they.
    I doubt you would find one true child of God in the demon city on the hill

    Reply
    • Peter Miks says:
      1 month ago

      I’m pretty sure he’s a commie Demonycrap.

      Reply
      • GSM says:
        1 month ago

        He is a Jesuit Look up what the Jesuits have done to America They were imbedded from the inception of America. And have tried through their con job of religion to take back control of the people .
        No wonder people refuse to read the Bible It was the Catholics that decided at the Counsel of Trent what to take out. The Bible has 118 books But they only allowed 66.Its why some things make no sense And Constantine declared upon his deathbed that worshiping of the Sun God was to be adhered to Catholics changed the day of worship from Saturday to Sunday for that purpose.
        And under their guidance to Rome They gave Jerusalem to the Palestinians. Look 👀 up who they were in Genesis. They mutilated King Saul And his sons. And people think they own Jerusalem. Philistines ! Of which no nation wanted And ask why no Muslim nation wants them ?

        Reply
  3. Gregor Brewski says:
    1 month ago

    This idiot pope is the reason I left the catholic church.

    Reply
  4. Peter Miks says:
    1 month ago

    His health problems will do him in, b4 a bullet does. Fk that commie pos.

    Reply

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