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Home U.S. News

Operation Sea Legs Fails: Biden Salutes in All Directions at Once

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
August 12, 2025
in U.S. News
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Recently unearthed Biden-era files reveal the former president’s 2022 naval ship tour was scrapped after aides feared the “maritime instability hazard” posed by literally walking up stairs on a moving vessel, sources have confirmed.

The Secret Service reportedly ran simulations showing Biden veering off-course halfway up, possibly stopping to lecture a lifebuoy about bipartisanship.



“We’ve seen it before,” said one former staffer.

“He’ll make eye contact with a non-living object and suddenly start whispering to a life vest.”

As part of “Operation Sea Legs,” agents fitted Biden with a prototype mechanical harness —only for him to become disoriented and replace his salute with a confused middle finger aimed indiscriminately in every direction.

Witnesses say the incident caused a brief diplomatic scare after a Canadian Coast Guard vessel signaled back in kind.

President Trump reviewed the memos and was heard saying, “Only Joe could cause international upset, because he was confused”

The Left immediately demanded Biden be equipped with a Hoveround or a four-wheeled Segway fitted with blinder sticks “to keep him focused.”

The woke left insisted the devices be good energy-powered, equity-certified, and programmed to play daily affirmations like, “You’re smart,” and, “You’re a winner in our eyes.”

As of press time, Biden was spotted attempting to dock his Hoveround at an abandoned EV charger.

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Comments 1

  1. GSM says:
    4 days ago

    What’s amazing is how far people went . Including average Americans and every politician/ media .When his mental capacity was clearly a giant issue
    This one Major event out does them all !
    There on the world stage with Macron on one side and Jill on the other. The leader of America steps forward and bends over . To finish his bowel movement in his depends. Those standing in line including those two Stood in attendance while he finished in front of the whole world. Knowing they had to smell his event
    Not one politician or media or Americans thought this was anything but acceptable
    The democrats cleaned out the insane asylums and put them all to work. Next it will be those who definitely wear the one item that allows a leader to stand in front of the front of the whole world to disgrace their country with a geriatric has been . One would at least think the leader of America would be cognitive enough to find a toilet .

    Reply

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