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Home Politics

SBA Mistakenly Funds Pre-K Entrepreneurs with Millions

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
March 9, 2025
in Politics
11
Children get SBA cash
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In a surprising revelation of government oversight—or lack thereof—the Small Business Administration (SBA) reportedly loaned a staggering $312 million to children 11 years old or younger during the COVID-19 pandemic, sources have confirmed.

The loans, intended to support struggling businesses, apparently did not discriminate by age, leading to a generation of toddler entrepreneurs.



The error was discovered during a routine audit, which revealed that numerous loans had been approved for applicants whose birthdates suggested they were still mastering the art of tying shoelaces, let alone running a business. “We wanted to foster a spirit of entrepreneurship,” an SBA spokesperson commented, “but perhaps preschoolers were a bit too young.”

The situation has left parents baffled and bureaucrats scrambling to explain how so many young children managed to fill out loan applications. “I thought he was just playing on the iPad,” said one parent, whose four-year-old somehow secured a six-figure loan to open a lemonade stand.

As of press time, playgroups were reportedly being investigated as potential business incubators, and the SBA was considering crayons and coloring books as acceptable forms of business plans for future submissions.

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Comments 11

  1. H Lee says:
    3 months ago

    Sounds just like the government which Trump wants to clean up and the government that the democrats are screaming to leave alone. CNN and msnbc should properly display their prejudiced support by showing a picture of a group of children standing behind their lemonade stand with a sign saying that Trump wants to take their million $ business loan away.

    Reply
    • Gloria says:
      3 months ago

      Did the parents of children get the money ???
      Or did someone were the money can from pocket it.
      How does a 4 yrs old take a check to the bank and deposit it. The parents should have been asking questions.

      Reply
      • Leslie says:
        3 months ago

        Maybe the money was on paper only and the toddlers got a token certificate. The money was probably funneled into a Dem pet project or into their own pockets. They are a greedy bunch.

        Reply
  2. louis ernest says:
    3 months ago

    One wonders how we can have such stupid people in these positions! And how come no one caught this within days of it happening? And how did these parents not know their toddler got this money?

    Reply
  3. Joe Robinson says:
    3 months ago

    Amazing ho any people have no clue that to is is satire!

    Reply
    • Buddy Branson says:
      3 months ago

      Lear to spell in English.

      Reply
  4. Joe says:
    3 months ago

    Amazing how many people have no idea that the daily scrape is satire! 😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  5. jsub1960 says:
    3 months ago

    Satire or not it would not shock me there is some merit to it. It’s not as ridiculous sounding as some of the other BS our tax monies went to.

    Reply
  6. 2004done says:
    3 months ago

    Most of the “mentally Pre-schoolers” were actually 60-85 year old Democrats, specifically chosen for their naivete in commonplace adult situations.

    Reply
  7. RobL says:
    3 months ago

    Fraud, that’s all there is to it.

    When I had considered an SBA loan years ago, the paperwork and the appropriate collateral required were significant. Every penny needs to be clawed back, and the perpetrators tried and imprisoned.

    Reply
  8. Not a democrat says:
    3 months ago

    No good mother f ers
    Yet if I don’t pay my little $6000 loan for Covid
    Every month they threaten jail, take my house etc
    Demoncratic ass holes

    Jail them all

    Reply

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