In a startling revelation that has demographers scratching their heads, Elon Musk announced that the USA now holds the title for the oldest population in America, with a whopping 20 million people aged over 100 listed in the Social Security database, sources have confirmed.
Musk, speaking to reporters at the White House, suggested that either the fountain of youth is bubbling up under the U.S. or we need to update our software systems.
“Turns out, America is not just the land of the free, but the land of the centenarians!” Musk joked, as he displayed the shocking statistics on a giant screen. Skeptics quickly pointed out potential flaws in the data, suggesting a glitch in the matrix—or more likely, the Social Security system.
This unexpected demographic shift has prompted calls for a review of Social Security’s records, with some officials proposing a nationwide game of bingo to locate these supposed centenarians. Meanwhile, health food companies have already started to capitalize on the news, with ads proclaiming, “Eat this and live to 100!”
As of press time, Social Security administrators were seen entering data centers with birthday cakes and balloons, just in case.
Fire the entire group at SS.
Keep in mind, most of these federal workers were working at home, doing the least possible while prioritizing their personal lives.
“Prioritizing their personal lives” for the 118th federal workers’ meant assisting illegal immigrants, forming TDS chapters, GOTV at comatose clinics, marxist educators, pro-Dominion rallies in all 57 state capital cities, and assisting senile Congressmen to vote leftish. But with the 119th Congress, they and their staffers have had to cut $$$ to just marxism in MSM and TDS.
Remember, that’s what the voter records claim!
Just keep on checking records in all departments. Money has been so mishandled. I happen to fall in the category of elderly and depend on social security because I paid my taxes and it’s MY money. Please don’t use social security for any others. Only for those that paid into it.
Thank you!
Absolute. Had the Fund been used, as first intended, it would be impossible for it to go broke. Just replace the 2 trillion stolen from it by corrupt and Greedy politicians.
Sadly not surprised. Anyone that’s been paying attention for the last several years and longer knows our pork filled govt is full of fraud, waste and abuse. My question is where does our tax monies go?? Certainly not for those that need it!
I hate sounding like a broken record but…..TERM LIMITS, TERM LIMITS, and last but not least….TERM LIMITS.
Get the drift?
When “politician’s” are allowed “free range” and “life time” political employment..what did you expect to happen? They plot and scam to fill THEIR pockets. All the while telling their constituents what a bang up job they’ve been doing and…..”about my re-election….and the raise I gave myself…!”
Once they’ve tasted the “free money” politics! They’re ruined ever! We can’t retrain them…..can’t euthanize them (legally)…best way to stop this dilemma….
TERM LIMITS and a few simple rules like no investing, no stock or bond purchases while in office. “You work for US!”
If what you recommend is done there will be no one in office, that’s good thing.
Where’s the proof? There isn’t. Musk makes this all up so he can raid SS and our benefits can go to billionaire tax breaks.
Yeah, His 250 billion isn’t enough to get by on.
He has absolutely nothing to gain but our admiration