In a stunning press conference that progressives are calling “emotionally brave but intellectually homeless,” New York City Socialist Zohran Mamdani reportedly blamed President Trump for the Election Day bomb threat, a midtown traffic jam, and “that weird feeling I get when my phone battery dies,” sources have confirmed.
Speaking to reporters while holding a latte labeled “Tax the Rich (But Not Me),” Mamdani declared that Trump’s “toxic aura” had “vibrated across time and space to influence unrelated inconveniences.”
When pressed for proof, he replied, “Proof isn’t real — my party shared our truth, and that’s basically science now.”
Campaign insiders say Mamdani keeps a dartboard titled “Things Trump Did” in his office, featuring everything from inflation and raising rent to the extinction of Blockbuster and the death of MySpace.
One aide allegedly added “uncomfortable silence at brunch” earlier this week.
According to White House insiders, staff have begun installing padded walls in the press room to prepare for “emergency progressive meltdowns,” complete with calming whale sounds and coloring books labeled “Cope Kits.”
As of press time, Mamdani was reportedly drafting legislation to ban bad vibes and require federal funding to study Trump’s psychic influence on the democratic party.
Well folks i completed what i said i would do. I voted a straight Republican ticket today in Virginia. I will continue doing this until Democrats apologize to all of the people they have harmed with those current government shutdown.
Yes vote Republican,if you choose a leftist ,Socialist, Communist,…… Well then don’t come,crying when everything falls to crap,remember you voted for the crap, now see if you can find a shovel to dig yourself out of the bull crap that can hey were preaching …..good luck!!!
Mamdani take all your fleas and cockroaches and go back to your own country and raise camels on free food