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Home Politics

SpaceX’s Latex Load to Mars Rattles Capitol Hill

Joe King by Joe King
January 29, 2025
in Politics
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Elon Condoms to Mars
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In a move that has left many scratching their heads, Elon Musk has announced plans to send $50 million worth of condoms to Mars, sparking a fierce uproar among Democrats, sources have confirmed.

The SpaceX founder explained that the prophylactic payload is part of a larger initiative to ensure “safe space exploration” in every sense of the term.



Democrats have blasted the plan as wasteful and absurd, questioning the priorities of Musk and his Martian ambitions. “We’re still trying to fix potholes here in America, and he’s shipping latex to Mars?” fumed one prominent Democratic senator during a heated congressional hearing.

Musk defended his decision during a press conference, stating, “It’s crucial to be prepared for all aspects of human life on Mars, including the safe ones.” The plan includes a variety of sizes and flavors, supposedly to cater to all potential interstellar preferences.

As of press time, Republican lawmakers were seen awkwardly adjusting their ties while proposing a new bill to fund “whatever Elon thinks we need on Mars,” while Democrats were calculating how many American potholes could be filled with $50 million.

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Comments 5

  1. Paula says:
    5 months ago

    It’s his money!

    Reply
  2. Everett says:
    5 months ago

    Yeah, but communist fascist racist satanic moron democrats think ALL money in America is theirs!!! That’s why it’s extremely difficult for working Americans to keep their hard-earned pay.

    Reply
  3. Kim says:
    5 months ago

    The democrats should ask themselves how many pot holes could be filled with their wasteful spending that Pres Trump has stopped so far. The democrats are masters of REDIRECT!

    Reply
  4. Gregor Brewski says:
    5 months ago

    Yeah, like democRATS REALLY care how many potholes get filled in….their pockets maybe, but not street holes.

    Reply
  5. Pia says:
    5 months ago

    Dems thought sending condoms to Gaza/Hamas was a good idea – while they’re at it, why not send those guys tampons as well.

    Reply

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