President Joe Biden’s team shocked the country today by announcing a last minute change of venue for the annual State of the Union address: the lobby of a local Dairy Queen.
“My fellow Americans,” began Biden’s speech, anchored behind him by Kamala Harris and several Dairy Queen employees. “As we begin to thaw from a long winter like this delicious Cookie Dough Blizzard that sits in front of me, I think we can agree that the future of this country looks bright. I’m not sure what everyone’s freaking out about all the time. As long as a fella can go get himself a nice vanilla cone, I think everything’s a-ok, don’t you guys?”
Biden’s speech did not touch on many subjects citizens were hoping to hear about, such as inflation, tensions in the middle east, his son Hunter’s legal issues, the ongoing war in Ukraine, and the economy.
“He didn’t talk about anything important,” said Ty Mitchell, who watched the speech on television. “He just mumbled a bunch of half-assed talking points, and at one point he ate his ice cream so fast he got a headache and everyone in attendance burst into applause until he was able to get his thoughts back together. Can we just let this dude retire and eat ice cream? It’s becoming clear that’s all he really wants to do.”
As of press time, Biden had accidentally locked himself in the Dairy Queen bathroom following the completion of his speech.
I didn’t think you could freeze a potato head like, chicom jotato bribum. Since there’s nothing between the ears to begin with. He’s nothing more then a useful sock puppet for the Marxist cabal in control. And just like greaseball new scum nukum. Gets his final marching orders from china.
Joe invented ice cream in 1801.