The Treasury Department has launched an investigation into allegations that millions of Minnesota taxpayer dollars were quietly diverted to Al-Shabaab, and in a shocking turn of events, Governor Tim Walz has responded with what experts are calling “the dumbest excuse ever uttered by a sitting governor,” sources have confirmed.
Walz insisted he thought he was funding “a Kabob franchise,” telling reporters:
“Have you ever had Kabob? It’s great! Why’s everyone so upset?”
As if culinary enthusiasm legally absolved him of international fraud.
His aides immediately scattered like startled pigeons.
One staffer whispered,“Please don’t ask me anything. I don’t want to lie, and I don’t want to tell the truth. They’re equally bad.”
Meanwhile, Minnesota’s Democratic leadership proudly refused to take responsibility, instead blaming Republicans for “creating an environment where investigations happen.”
One legislator defended the scandal by boasting,“Our programs have doubled in spending every year. That’s called progress. We are the greatest sharers of taxpayer money in Democratic history.”
Asked if he understood where the missing millions actually went, Walz reportedly said he was “still waiting for the Kabob menu.”
As of press time… investigators were searching for the funds while Walz searched Google Maps for “Somalia Kabob franchises near me.”
I love Tim Waltz. Tim Waltz is great. Mr Waltz is pf of the smartest people I know. TW was selected buKamala Harris, another patriot fighting for the average American, who still believes in the US Constitution. Most MAGAs believe in some form of fascism which they hate to hear, which reminds them the Grumpy-Old-Trump wants them to believe.Sad but not impossible to believe, that GOT has a MAGA base millions who hang on every word he says. GOT is the epitome of the biggest CON man in American history, who will go down as one of the most unpopular POTUS in American history. GOTs message of hate and division fuels his MAGA base and lulls millions of Americans into believing they are superior to others. We are on a downturn in economic power. We will no longer be the beacon of light that the world envisioned when America was truly great. When most Americans still believed in the US constitution and fought for America when was great. Most Americans who identity as MAGA don’t, can’t, or won’t believe they are fighting for a dictator similar to Hitler in Nazi Germany during WW2. The ICE agents are most decent human being doing indecent acts on fellow Americans, calling it fighting for Americas ideals but not realizing they are fighting for dictator, no different than SS fighting for Hitler, during WW2. What do ICE agents say to their sons and daughters when they return from work on day when they apprehend a legal resident of the US that may not look like them but legally here.
Do you really believe all that stuff you’re spouting? Tim Walz is a criminal and should be arrested for stealing from the taxpayers. Good grief! He knew that taxpayers money was being stolen and sent to terrorists. He is complicit and should be locked up along with the Lt. Governor and the Attorney for the State of Minnesota.
you commie pos, go to your basement and take your fentanyl, or better yet go for a boat ride with a drug runner. You are as stupid as stupid comes.
So true!
This comment is funnier than the original article. The absurdity of the response is Pulitzer Prize winning fiction, no one is that ignorant of the facts.
Well first of all it is Walz, not the dance, waltz. Secondly if Obama had done such a great job in his 8, yes 8 years as president we would not have the problems that you apparently think we have. Did not notice how my life changed so
dramatically for the better when Barry was president. I guess the voters saw through that when Hillary lost in 2016 as she should have won in a landslide.
none so blind as those who refuse to see
OPEN YOUR EYES
Ac is a pathetic moron that’s sucking on Walz teet
AC needs a dose of DC. TDS took over AC
AC is just trolling everybody. Nobody can be that stupid!!!😅
more proof that liberalism is a mental disorder. Seek help.
Just curious — does “AC” stand for “Anti-Christ”?
Dictionary explanations: “Retarded: less developed mentally than is usual at a particular age,” “Retard: stop from developing or progressing,” – it sure describes Walz to a “T.”
Waltz you mean a Kabob restaurant selling Tampons for your next adventure.
Old Yellow Stain running away again when the heat is turned up. Your just a yapping Chihuahua with no teeth your just like every other democrat just point fingers at other people it’s there fault.
All must be deported, taking US taxpayers dollars 💵 committing fraud then sending to terrorist.