The nation’s teens have banded together to protest the potential ban of TikTok by doing those stupid, stupid dances of theirs, sources have confirmed.
“You’ve left us no choice,” said Brayden Miller, a local 13-year-old, before proceeding to do his dumb little moves and film them amidst a crowd of children doing the exact same thing. “If you ban TikTok, you can expect lame uprisings like this all over the nation. You’ve awakened an awkward, dancing giant. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.”
The movement confused local politicians more than anything.
“Why should I give a fuck about these kids dancing,” asked Commerce Committee Chairwoman Maria Cantwell (D-Wash). “Do they think this will make any actual difference, or that anyone in the world could be interested in seeing this? This is nothing but a bunch of self centered people trying to center themselves in a story much larger than themselves, and not fully understanding the ramifications of it all. As a politician, I completely empathize.”
As of press time, the protest ended abruptly when everyone’s parents came to pick them up.
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