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Home U.S. News

Biden’s Auto-Pen Declares Harris a High-Threat Target—Trump Unplugs the Plot Twist

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
August 29, 2025
in U.S. News
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Kamala Harris
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Kamala Harris’ Secret Service protection was yanked after President Trump discovered her extended coverage might have been signed by Biden’s rogue auto-pen rather than an actual functioning president, sources have confirmed.

While the mystery of the pen’s involvement lingers, the bigger drama comes from the left’s meltdown over Harris no longer having taxpayer-funded bodyguards.



Progressive commentators argue she deserves 24/7 protection because “what if someone doesn’t like her… or worse, doesn’t buy her book?”

Others insist the former VP requires Secret Service to guarantee a federally funded “safe space” whenever mean tweets hurt her feelings.

One activist even warned that Harris may now be forced to interact with “the general public,” which they described as a terrifying mob of potential book non-purchasers.

Meanwhile, President Trump shrugged off the complaints, reminding reporters that Harris already has the ultimate defense system: no one can follow her speeches long enough to form a threat.

As of press time, Democrats were drafting legislation to classify “ignoring Kamala’s book tour” as a hate crime punishable by mandatory subscription to her podcast.

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Comments 9

  1. Matthew Slana says:
    2 months ago

    Another stupid democratic attempt to change a law. She already had the 6 months protection called for by current law.

    Reply
    • Dottie says:
      2 months ago

      She has enough money. Let her pay for her own secret service. She has sucked enough from the taxpayers.

      Reply
  2. GSM says:
    2 months ago

    Remember the hell we would be going through if she and Tampon Tim were in our House ! Tampon Tim is responsible for the young man they coerced into becoming a female that killed all those children in Minnesota. Remember He is called Tampon Tim Because he put tampons in the boys bathrooms . There would be no Americans left Especially white or straight people. And after they emptied our treasury . Would have handed us over to China. They brought in . The muslims who are planning the same evil vile things upon our people that they are doing to the people of Ireland and Scotland and The Entire UK . After females in the UK started to make pigs pets. The government has ordered all farm animals to be killed by 2026 .
    When a 12 year old girl in Scotland has to carry a ax to stop Muslims from raping her and her sister. And the police arrest her and not those who were attempting to rape her . And so far democrats represent only blacks and illegals. And every killer there is
    I ask Americans as well as these other countries Where are your real men.

    Reply
  3. Darrell Debs says:
    2 months ago

    Our real men voted for Trump.

    Reply
    • GSM says:
      2 months ago

      We shall see. Our daughters are being murdered And we still sit while they continue to let them out. Watch the hearing today where Nadler said Manhattan was safe And the black Women lowered the boom in him . They murdered her son and Alvin Bragg let them go . If you Look we only have half a nation of sane common sense people. As of today . New Yorkers are all in on the Muslim And his socialist ideas. The people asked said they didn’t care about anything down the road they might cause.
      I sure hope it’s not only Those who voted for Trump but those who stand up against evil

      Reply
  4. Sue says:
    2 months ago

    She can always hire her own security team and have as many people she wants nobody is tell her she can’t have security BUT it’s not on the taxpayers dime. She has millions of fraudulent funds to pay for her own security. Finally.we have a president that doesn’t take any sh-t from democrats.

    Reply
    • maesaysdoit says:
      2 months ago

      You do realize this is a satire “news” site, right?

      Reply
  5. Ty says:
    2 months ago

    Harris should be safe she for years kept saying the border is secure so what is she worried about. She thinks she just another privileged democrat that can milk the taxpayers forever.
    If she feels threatened she can always stir. In her own mansion and sell her books online.
    She got millions of dollars buried to pay for her own security. Nobody cares about her she accomplished absolutely nothing in 4 years but destroy this country. Just stay around illegals and you will feel safe. Most useless VP in America’s history.

    Reply
    • maesaysdoit says:
      2 months ago

      You do realize this is a satire site, right?

      Reply

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