In a bold move to protect democracy from dangerous facts, California lawmakers, under the wise and perfectly-coiffed guidance of Governor Gavin Newsom, have introduced AB 2624 — the “Stop Noticing Things Act,” sources have confirmed.
While Vice President JD Vance’s anti-fraud task force was busy suspending hundreds of shady hospices and home health agencies in Los Angeles for over $600 million in suspected fraud, Newsom and his Democrat buddies heroically sprang into action — not to stop the fraud, but to stop the guy reporting on it.
Independent journalist Nick Shirley, the brave soul who exposed the Somali-run “Learing” Centers in Minnesota treating taxpayer money like an all-you-can-eat buffet under Tim Walz, is now warning that the same grift is coming to California.
He was immediately corrected by the Governor’s office.
“These are not frauds.”
Newsom explained during a lavish wine tasting fundraiser while wearing his official “Hero to the Bad Guys” sash.
“They’re cultural misunderstandings. Those Lear jets? Just very enthusiastic carpooling for equity. The mountains of cash? Motivational props for the children who aren’t there. And the zero actual kids? Innovative remote learning — very progressive!”
When asked why taxpayer money was vanishing faster than his hair gel in a wind tunnel, Newsom waved a perfectly manicured hand and declared:
“Fraud doesn’t exist in California. That’s a right-wing conspiracy theory, like affordable housing or functioning governance. I’m the hero here — defending the innocent fraudsters while villainously prosecuting the real threat: journalists with cameras!”
Sources close to the Governor say AB 2624 is necessary because “The truth is a form of violence against equity,” and reporters now face jail time plus $10,000 fines for the hate crime of noticing things.
Meanwhile, the actual fraudsters will be left free to send Newsom and friends monthly contribution checks and host private fundraising dinners on those very same jets.
As of press time, Sacramento was reportedly working on a companion bill declaring basic arithmetic “hate speech” if the numbers make Democrats look bad, while California taxpayers continue their important role as the world’s most expensive piggy bank with a smile.
It sounds like satire, but it probably isn’t.
I want to sponsor a bill: L769 changing Nick Shirley’s name! To Nicc Learing !
I’ve heard about this from other sources. The corrupt scum running and ruining California are actually trying to pull this off. I hope it can be taken up to the Supreme Court and squashed! Pure scum running California. Sad and tragic.
Michigan too! Total scum… Nick I love ❤️ you! please come to Michigan and get started on the worst fraud in the country. My friend Wendy God rest her soul said it best “Michigan will be dead last and it will be the absolute worst.” Anyone who has been following Michigan Michigan politics for the last 10 years knows she’s right. Our three fraudsters have been caught red-handed at absolute fraud but they’re still out running free. One more thing, Nick we need you to get someone over in Somalia to fly drones over to see how many mansions are being built in Somalia on our dime. i’m guessing it’s in the thousands already under construction in that “shit hole”. I’m sure, that would be your most watched video ever to see all of our hard earned taxpayer money, stolen, and building mansions for the Somalians.. Anybody else like to see a video like that?
You are onto something there…..
absolutely great idea
One day, God will come along and send an earthquake so strong, California will drift into the Pacific…Right now, I am investing in ocean front property in Nevada…Go Nick Shirley…You’re a strong young man………..Vince
Now, Vince, don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater….. There are millions of us conservatives here in Commiefornia. We are simply outnumbered by the Blue No Matter Who clueless majority. We seem to have a decent shot at getting a Republican governor after Gruesom’s term ends (which can’t happen soon enough).
California a suburb of Hawaii.
Oh, still my heart…
Truth as Satire. Voltaire would have approved.
If he hadn’t been a Humanist heathen. 😉
This is just another example of the dishonest California Bureaucrats trying to get away with another Scam to hide all the ongoing scams, fraudulent, incompetent and bordering on psychopathic. I live in California (Kalifornication) near the bay area of Oakland / San Francisco. The amount of money taken in by this state just in bridge tolls is impressive enough to really make one wonder – Where IS all this money going?? With AB-2624 questioning that could land one in jail. I wonder if Stalin or Mao used these tactics?? The Corrupt California Legislature can’t figure out how to fight wild fires to such an extreme they couldn’t get water to fire hydrants in Los Angeles and it appears to have been intentional. Reservoirs specifically built to support those fire hydrants were destroyed while the mayor wasn’t even in country during the peak of the wild fire season. Crime rates are climbing but CA Law Makers are way more concerned about what’s in my safe then any criminal crossing into this state illegally and harming legal citizens. They favor the violent illegal criminals and call it “Compassion”. It’s all Ass backwards on the ‘Left Coast’!!
I have moved from Corrupticut to Florida. Our motto is “better yet leave Connecticut!” They have fixed elections here and then admitted it on the internet. Former Mayor of Bridgeport Bill Finch was proud to admit Democrats fixed the election for Governor for Daniel Malloy over Tom Foley. Then Malloy moved to South Carolina ! How`s that for parody ? Ned Lamont took $770 million of Covid relief funds and propped up the State pension system. Connecticut is a big sewer that no one reports on. It`s a one party state. I read about California and Minnesota and shrug my shoulders. They have nothing on Connecticut. The Constitution State that wipes it`s ass with the Constitution. Best of luck, Democraps have ruined everything. Oh well we still have Yale !
As a life long Chicagoan I thought I had it bad with the totally incompetent Laurel & Hardy tandem of Brandon Johnson and JB Pritzker. However there must be something in the air out there that they can elect a totally incompetent pretty boy buffoon like Gavin Newsom who went through a recall in 2021,awanna be jigalow like Eric Salwell, a congenial liar like Adam Schiff, and the poster child for senility like Maxine Waters. Shame too it was a great place to visit.