Boston Mayor Michelle Wu reportedly announced Tuesday that all food delivery drivers will now be required to complete a 137-step approval process before transporting a single bag of takeout, sources have confirmed.
According to city officials, the rules were drafted after Wu concluded that the greatest threat facing Boston was not crime, inflation, or urban disorder, but a man on a scooter delivering lo mein without first obtaining permission from six departments and a climate equity panel.
“This is about safety, accountability, and justice,” Wu allegedly said while unveiling a compliance packet printed on recycled hemp and bound with taxpayer tears.
Under the ordinance, drivers must reportedly register with the city, obtain a permit, buy approved insurance, submit route data, and complete a sensitivity seminar titled Deconstructing The Harm Of Urgent Burrito Culture.
One aide said drivers may soon also be required to acknowledge the land and apologize for the inequitable history of mozzarella sticks.
DoorDash warned the policy would raise prices and hurt workers, prompting Wu to reportedly respond that “scarcity is how compassion scales.”
Sources say Amazon was quietly exempted after city leaders determined crushing independent workers was progressive, but inconveniencing a giant corporation would be disruptive.
As of press time, Boston had announced that anyone caught delivering tacos without a permit would be classified as an unlicensed domestic quesadilla trafficker.













Same thing basically like what happened during Covid. Democrat Progressives did everything possible to shutdown every “small” business that may have had five to ten customers at a time! But billionaire owned stores like Target and Walmart serving (exposing) hundreds of people per hour. So “big businesses” could thrive and “small businesses” can die filing bankruptcy! In this case multimillionaire owned and democrat party donor is exempted, again.
These American hating democrat socialists will destroy this great country, if reasonable Americans do not step up to protect and defend her!
So true!
So no voter ID miss WU. But you need 137 step to register to deliver a sandwich. You are a disgrace to the American people.
It’s not just Mayor Wu… all the hypocritical Dumbs are a disgrace to America. Not a peep came from any of the Dumbs when their man Biden couldn’t find an exit, fell down stairs, and couldn’t coherently read his own teleprompter; yet they want to invoke the 25th Amendment to remove a supposedly “irrational” Trump.
And the idiots keep voting these clowns in office.
Hi! I’m with Truth in Accounting- great article Mr. King! I’d like to pose the question: Would there be enough willing Boston police officers willing to enforce these rules if they knew that the same politicians coming up with job killing laws weren’t properly or fully funding their pensions? I doubt it- help us get that message out there, follow us on social media and share Joe’s article! If we are going to make any changes we need to educate the rank and file union members.
Wu is sick in the head! She needs to be replaced asap. She is now trying to put businesses out of business!
Is this satire? Can’t possibly be for real…can it? Even in Commifornia things aren’t this ridiculous! Please tell me this is parody!
“scarcity is how compassion scales.”
Brilliant because true.
Yep, and I need (fill in the number) of permits to cut my neighbor’s lawn!
That is one great mayor.
ship her to China and see how far she could push the coolies
Where do these democrat assholes come from this is America not some stupid c unt thinking she’s God or speake for the American people. Kick her as out of office before you won’t be able to crap in your own home. These democrats are don’t understand they work for the American people not their stupid brainwashed agendas. Recall call her immediately before you lose your rights to breathe. When are you going to learn democrats don’t give a sh-t about you only illegals the care about. Cut the head of the snake off and live like free citizens should live.
When women gain some power their brains atrophy. Common sense goes out the windows.
If Amazon Driver’s are exempted, sounds like Wu Government is in bed with a large Multi-billion Dollar Company.