California Governor Gavin Newsom reportedly experienced “rapid nasal expansion” during a press conference this week after claiming that JD Vance’s visit to Camp Pendleton would “shut down Interstate 5,” sources have confirmed.
Witnesses say the Governor’s nose lengthened several inches mid-sentence, narrowly missing a boom mic before aides rushed in with pruning shears.
“It’s becoming a public safety hazard,” admitted one exhausted staffer.
“We have a full-time gardener just to manage it now.”
According to insiders, Newsom’s growing obsession with JD Vance has reached “full-blown comedy levels.”
One aide confessed, “He talks about JD more than his own reflection — and that’s saying something.”
Critics say the Governor’s desperation has cost his constituents tens of thousands this week alone — between emergency Kleenex orders and recurring plastic-surgery appointments for “weekly nasal maintenance.”
Analysts suggest he could potentially save taxpayers millions—and maybe gain a few votes—if he simply shared verifiable facts and took a break from his chronic Trump Derangement Syndrome.
“But that would require honesty,” noted one Republican insider, “and that’s clearly above his pay grade.”
As of press time, Newsom was overheard insisting, “These are not lies—they’re misrepresentations of the truth,” his nose immediately grew, reportedly grazing a reporter’s teleprompter and triggering a minor evacuation.
Just another Democrat Pinocchio. Lie after lie and their noses keep growing – longer and longer. We sure can’t believe them at all.
I wish there was some way to ship all democRAT to a desert island, preferably in the Antarctic.
If his mouth is moving he lying.
What a fraud ,he is ruining California and then bashing J. D. This is a clown
Newsom is just about as stupid as one can be
Same idiot different day! That’s Newsom