In a shocking twist, a transgender cardinal has emerged as the frontrunner to succeed Pope Francis, sources have confirmed.
The surprise surge follows the Oscar-winning film Conclave, which depicted a progressive Vatican embracing inclusivity with a flair that captivated audiences and, apparently, the College of Cardinals.
Insiders claim Cardinal Sophia Rossi, formerly Father Antonio Rossi, has won over traditionalists with a bold platform: “More incense, fewer binary labels.”
Critics argue this is a woke plot to undermine the Church, with one bishop muttering, “What’s next, rainbow mitres?” Supporters, however, praise Rossi’s “modern miracles,” like turning water into oat milk latte.
Vatican analysts note the film’s glamorous portrayal of papal elections has swayed younger cardinals, who now demand “less Latin, more TikTok.”
Rossi’s campaign promises include gender-neutral vestments and a drag-themed Christmas Mass. Conservatives are apoplectic, but Rossi’s charisma is undeniable, with betting odds soaring in Vegas.
As of press time, Rossi was seen practicing her papal wave while lip-syncing to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way in St. Peter’s Square.
Ah yes…..to be alive in this 21st century age of delusional amoral insanity !!! Never a dull moment :o(
It’s satire.
Ditto what Darby O’Gill said.
Unhinged & ridiculous
I will give up my Catholic religion if Christ’s church goes woke!
If ? Where have you been This Pope was all in on Anything perverted . And the murder of Gods babies.
Americans are not under the crown or the Papacy Our ancestors fled the tryanny of the Vatican / Papacy It was so hated that it was against the law to be Catholic
What happened ? Well from it’s inception of winning a Revolutionary War against the crown Jesuits were placed in every aspect of our newly formed sovereign nation . This Pope was not the head Jesuit . But he was one ! Columbia University was Created to House and produce more Jesuits for the destruction of America . As you begin to count those who sit in our chambers that are not only Catholics But like the Pope serve themselves. They too are Jesuits and over 90% came out of Columbia University
Do your homework ! The word shock will come to mind . Never take anyone’s word . Look it all up for yourself. It’s there to see. As God says If you have ears to hear And eyes to see . Let the truth come forward
GSM: I appreciate you, and Lorraine, both saying “the quiet part” out loud, but I’ve just seen websites that say it’s actually only 0.00% through 89.999% from college at Columbia, and the Internet can’t lie, can’t it?
Nah ! Really.
If every American spoke up and quit tolerating
Wow Americans would be decent people again
Amen , I agree with Lorraine’s comment.
AMEN!
Agree this pope was not a good person he was a German not a Catholic, he should have been removed he really should have never been but communist wanted the other pope gone put this guy in sorry he died but glad he is out of control of the Catholic Church they better get a real Catholic that goes by the Real Teachings of the Church , and get back all our Traditions, that made us a good Church, plus quit changing the words of Our Prayers! And the thee and though need put back that made prayer Church Special place not these modern garbage that is sometimes an insult to the meaning of of our Traditional Prayers, Holy Ghost , many others that made Catholics Different
A M E N ME TOO
The Vatican is not that stupid. Media can not be trusted to be virtuous either.
A transgender pope?! This is truly the beginning of the end of the Catholic Church, if this is true and they go forward. I don’t think the Vatican is this stupid as this would alienate so many of their members.
they are all a little strange in the head anyway.
I don’t believe this is true. Catholic traditions would not allow this!
It’s obvious that quite a few people are looking at this site don’t understand or even know what satire is.
Greatest “Slippery Slope” Slide in History, even better than K-Y jelly to ease chicks-with-dicks onto Main-Stream-Television’s evening screens. With everyone eagerly waiting for the newly installed Progressive Party of Rome (Vatican Branch) to blow White Smoke up everyone’s butt, Admiral Rachel Levine’s work seems done.
If this is true goodbye to the catholic church for me many people wil leave the church