After a devastating series of tornados ripped through Kentucky yesterday, prominent Democrats are calling for the state to declare itself a ‘Tornado Free Zone’ to help ensure the future safety of its residents, source have confirmed.
“Enough is enough, it’s time we do something,” said President Joe Biden. “And what I mean by that is enacting some theoretical rules about what is and isn’t allowed. That ought to show those tornados that we mean business about enacting change around here! Consider this problem solved, America!”
Locals that had endured the violent storms were confident that the President’s leadership would deter future incidents.
“Oh great, now the tornados will see the signs and reroute themselves into Ohio,” said Arthur Stern, a resident of Fort Thomas, Kentucky. “If only we acted sooner I wouldn’t have to rebuild my garage and get my truck fixed from where that tree fell on it. This new policy is gonna do wonders for us all.”
As of press time, several tornados were rapidly approaching Kentucky and showed no signs of slowing down, despite its recent declaration as a Tornado Free State.
A tornado sanctuary zone would be more fitting! Just make an area that only tornadoes can go!!!
Yeah. Washington D.C
The one big question remains. Which brand of bourbon has had the greatest impact on this weather phenomenon?
Yea , give ‘em rooms at the Ritz Carlton! I know there’s better hotels in New York, but blowin in like they do they couldn’t possibly get reservations at them
What ever the weather person likes. Probably Really Good F**cking Bourbon. Official brand of the meteorologist guild of America
Yea well I’m kinda partial to rebel yell, we get a cask every now and again down to the Long Branch. I really can’t reckon what bourbon has to do with the weather no how .
Dude, the more you sip, the less you worry ’bout what’s going on outside! Maker’s 46 is about the smoothest.
Sure they can! All they have to do is say they are illegal aliens.
The race is on to see which bourbon brand tornadoes prefer. Jim Beam is currently ahead by a nose.