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Duchess Confused When Talking Animals Fail to Arrive on Wedding Day

Joe King by Joe King
September 12, 2025
in Entertainment
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Meghan Markle reportedly believed marrying Prince Harry was an audition to become an official Disney princess, sources have confirmed.

Upon learning there were no animated woodland creatures on payroll and that one cannot break into song during state dinners, Markle allegedly became “visibly distressed” and demanded to see a producer.



According to insiders, Markle asked royal staff why there wasn’t a fairy godmother assigned to her quarters and expressed frustration that her tiaras lacked the “sparkle filter” she had seen in Disney+ promotional posters.

When palace staff handed her a 700-page manual on royal etiquette, she mistook it for a script and began improvising dialogue.

Harry, attempting to calm the situation, reportedly assured her that “yes, tea time is real,” but was quickly scolded after she realized tea bags don’t burst into song while steeping.

Witnesses say Markle’s breaking point came after discovering that mice in Buckingham Palace were not seamstresses but ordinary vermin.

Markle quickly realized running away to her castle in Neverland made the USA not look so bad after all.

As of press time, Markle has allegedly contacted Disney executives to pitch “The Little Duchess,” a streaming series where royal rules are replaced by catchy songs and zero accountability.

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Comments 2

  1. GSM says:
    2 weeks ago

    Megan And AOC are cut from the same cloth of moronic/idiotic behaviors .,Both in their own minds . Assume they rule the rest of us. God forbid that day ever happens in America!! Anyone with at least one brain cell left . And can actually use their own brain to think with. Without referring to the net or the boob tube to be told what to think about one of life’s real realities.
    Would know . The age old response is . Two wrongs do not make a right !
    Megan committed adultery with Harry to snatch him. Harry didn’t marry his two yr old daughters mother to snatch her. Their Union was made in the back room of AOC’s bar !
    Harry was removed of his Prince title and she therefore didn’t not have one as a result of his removal .
    So stop referring to either one of them as Anything royal.

    Reply
  2. Pia says:
    2 weeks ago

    Personally, I always liked the Mad Hatter and his Tea Party in Alice in Wonderland. — Maybe more applicable for Ms. Markle since the entire story behind Alice in Wonderland is “seeing” things backward – left is right, up is down, etc. — kind of like being high on drugs.

    Reply

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