An alleged assassin in custody has inexplicably gained a full-blown fan club made up of far-left activists, self-proclaimed “Cougars for Luigi Mangione,” and other various brain washed progressive groups desperate to feel important, sources have confirmed.
Witnesses say a swarm of those “cougars” emerged from whatever psych hold the far left currently calls home, shrieking that Mangione was a hero, “super hot,” and “bravely standing up to oppressive concepts like laws.”
Observers noted none of them seemed to know what he was actually accused of — only that supporting him made them look “rebellious” on Instagram.
They were joined by several other fringe groups like:
- They Need Love, Not Prison
- Abolish Consequences 2030
- Justice Is Oppressive™
Meanwhile, actual heroes — police officers, firefighters, and first responders — became the villains of the day simply for trying to maintain order.
One activist even snapped at a cop, shouting:
“Stop trying to steal the spotlight! He’s OUR hero!”
First responders remained on standby for typical progressive emergencies such as:
- Stubbing a toe
- Breaking a nail
- Being asked a yes-or-no question
- Accidentally hearing a fact
Many fainted dramatically when a firefighter said the word “accountability.”
As of press time… protesters were demanding Mangione receive a medal “for resisting society’s outdated obsession with not committing felonies” while first responders looked on wondering when reality left the room— rumor has it they’ll be wondering for a while.
So very close to the truth.
What the hell is wrong with these people my god would never allow this man to get away without some punishment he wouldn`t be a hero that`s for sure but this is a crazy world anymore
Me too!
Crazy white woman with no job and think they are the smartest person on line.p
Satire can not cloak this evil in giggles . These women make demons very happy
It’s absolutely amazing the female decline of intelligence. We have females who scream in our streets to be able to literally slice and dice their unborn babies. Following like brain dead morons the democrats whose entire party is based on death. Drooling over someone who murdered another in broad daylight! Is not insane it’s pure evil .
That man deserves the needle as well as the one who murdered the Israeli couple. And now the one who just murdered our female guard.
There’s only one reason a female or anyone would stand for any of this is !
You belong to Satan . And he’ll will receive you for this action. God is about to take over. I suggest those who drop their drawers knowing there is a way to not get pregnant . And those who find it sexually exciting to drool over a pure evil killer.
Get right with the Lord God of Heaven. Or, eternity of fire is what you will get.