The NFL has announced the latest entertainer to headline the Super Bowl halftime show; movie star and vigilante John Wick.
“Whoa, I figured they’d pick a musician or something, but that sounds awesome,” said Joey Reynolds, a local fan of John Wick and the Philadelphia Eagles. “I’m not really sure what it means. Like, is Keanu Reeves going to be there? Or is there a real-life John Wick? Either way, this sure beats some boring musical act. I like that they’re thinking outside the box. Hey, John Wick isn’t gonna kill anybody out there, is he?”
League executives did their best to clear up the many questions their announcement raised.
“Let me be clear, this is the real John Wick, the guy they based the movies on,” said Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL. “We have rounded up 50 of his enemies and will be unleashing them on the field as part of the show. John Wick will have 10 minutes, one gun, and no rules. You might want to have children leave the room for this year’s halftime show. It’s going to be a bloodbath.”
As of press time, it was revealed that John Wick would also be singing the national anthem, as long as no one tried to mess with him.
I like the slant. Reminds me if the B! Keep it up!👍🏻
the halftime shows have been bad for 20 years we used to have rock. now this just disband the league
This is a halftime show I will actually enjoy watching.
Sounds like it will be a shoot em up like the Wild West shows. Probably won’t appeal to the audience.
….FYI DYK, Keanu Reeves is a REAL MUSICIAN too plays Electric Bass Guitar in his/their ROCK BAND “RAT DOG”, tho not w/a very big/popular following so it will probably not make a Super Bowl showing now or in da’ future, also DYK Keanu’s father was a convicted on some DRUG Charges n spent time in prison back in the days when Keanu was a kid!
Does anyone know why Keanu has never married…yet???
Are you kidding? He can boff all the babes he wants and not lose his fortune! He can throw his socks anywhere, eat anything drink anything drive anything, he’s a free man! With all the lefty bitchs in California, he’s better off staying single.