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Home Politics

Judge Orders Trump Back to White House With God’s Speed

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
January 10, 2025
in Politics
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Judge Merchan Godspeed
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Judge Juan Merchan has sentenced Donald Trump to a second term in office, sources have confirmed.

In an unprecedented judicial ruling that has left constitutional scholars scratching their heads and comedians rushing to their notepads, the judge declared, “Only a presidency can rehabilitate Mr. Trump.”



The decision came after a lengthy deliberation where the judge apparently mistook his legal powers for divine intervention, quipping, “Let’s give America a rerun, with God’s speed!” Legal experts were quick to point out that American courts don’t actually have the authority to mandate presidential terms, but that didn’t stop Judge Merchan from ordering the White House to prepare the Oval Office for Trump’s return.

Supporters of Trump welcomed the news with glee, planning victory parades that could double as constitutional crisis seminars. Opponents, meanwhile, have been left to ponder the realities of a legal system that now seems to operate on the principles of reality TV.

As of press time, the Supreme Court was hastily reviewing ‘Judging for Dummies’ books, while Trump was seen measuring curtains for the Oval Office.

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Comments 9

  1. Michael D Leighty says:
    1 year ago

    It’s time to let President Trump get back to work. I Pray the Media will report Unbiased News and allow Trump to continue the same Great work He was getting done in His 1st term. I Pray Mr. Trump is asking God for His Divine Guidance as We Pray for God to lead Our Country down a Righteous path! Put God back in the Classrooms and Our Court Houses. God Bless America!!

    Reply
    • Montgomery says:
      1 year ago

      What?!?? You mean make the mega rich richer and everyone else poorer?!?? Sooo incredibly sad.

      Reply
      • Marissa Lee says:
        1 year ago

        Ha ha. This is exactly what Biden continues to do. You’re sad! You just don’t want to see it. Don’t be obtuse.

        Reply
  2. Lynn Simmons says:
    1 year ago

    Amen!

    Reply
  3. Ken Wendorf says:
    1 year ago

    I think the judge saw the light of upcoming investigation into his doings and life but too late he used his authority like a god or king not as a judge so karma will be on him

    Reply
    • 2004done says:
      1 year ago

      I’m for upcoming investigationS into his actionS, instead of this ONE faux action. Yet, I’m reminded a corrupt judge needs so much company in his cell for NY prosectors and witnesses.

      Reply
  4. CPO Bill says:
    1 year ago

    He is a schitt eater !Maybe he will disappear!

    Reply
  5. MAGA Man says:
    1 year ago

    When they picked Judge Juan Merchan, they were playing “ODD BALL”

    Reply
  6. Chad Stuart says:
    1 year ago

    Merchan is not totally ignorant!! He knows things about to get bad for the judicial system in New York. Now since he sentenced him, Trump can appeal the conviction. It will be reversed on appeal for numerous Constitutional Rights violations. Once the 34 convictions are overturned, Alvin Bragg will probably not be able to sleep very well, neither will the ones that colluded with Bragg from the Biden Administration. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are several indictments that come out of this. We all know there is going to be one of the largest lawsuits in New York history.

    Then it wouldn’t surprise me if the corruption in the New York Attorney General’s Office comes to light. AG James says she has been preparing for this for months. My thoughts are if you haven’t done anything wrong why are you worried about it. She knows what she has done was wrong and she should be held accountable!!!

    Reply

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