Mamdani Thanks Billionaire Donors, Promises To Tax Everyone Else

Zohran Mamdani announced his upcoming swearing-in ceremony will double as New York City’s first annual Socialist Block Party, fully funded by taxpayers who learned about it on social media Sources have confirmed

The New Year’s Eve event will feature fireworks, free food that somehow costs billions, and a ceremonial countdown to higher taxes, with Mamdani promising a “celebration of shared sacrifice” primarily shared by people who still have jobs.

Attendees are encouraged to bring reusable cups, open minds, and any remaining disposable income.

Bernie Sanders is expected to administer the oath using a symbolic tax form, while reminding the crowd that billionaires shouldn’t exist, except the friendly ones who funded the stage.

Letitia James will be on hand to ensure the festivities remain legally progressive.

In his remarks, Mamdani plans to thank his billionaire donors for bravely supporting socialism from gated communities, before reassuring voters he intends to extort—he means tax—the upper class to “share the wealth,” beginning with himself, Sanders, and a few other millionaire friends who clearly need the support.

Organizers insist the party is inclusive, noting everyone is welcome to attend, regardless of income, as long as they’re comfortable paying for it.

As of press time organizers were still finalizing which taxpayers would be billed for the confetti.