After being arrested during a London protest, full-time activist Greta Thunberg reportedly wasted no time launching her next climate campaign, this one targeting Christmas itself sources have confirmed
According to sources inside the holding facility, Thunberg immediately began drafting protest signs from recycled paper towels, declaring Santa Claus an environmental menace whose lifestyle is “deeply problematic.”
She allegedly cited Santa’s size, the carbon footprint of chimney travel, and the dangerous methane emissions released by his reindeer while in sustained flight.
Thunberg reportedly warned fellow inmates that Christmas represents unchecked capitalism, unsanctioned air travel, and a suspicious amount of gift distribution performed by what she described as “clearly unpaid child labor.”
She argued there is “no ethical explanation” for elves working year-round while Santa receives all the branding.
When a conservative reporter outside the station asked whether she was aware Santa isn’t real and that reindeer cannot fly, witnesses say Thunberg leaned out her cell window and demanded respect, shouting that she would not be fooled by “non-existence propaganda pushed by big toy interests.”
Guards claim Thunberg began offering her paid protesting services from inside the cell, pitching upcoming demonstrations against Christmas lights, wrapping paper, and festive joy.
Flyers allegedly promised chants, outrage, and an optional sit-in near the nearest tree.
As of press time, with Christmas only a day away, conservatives cautioned anyone dressed as Santa to proceed with caution, as unconfirmed reports suggested Thunberg’s bail was being posted and she was already drafting chants.
Thunberg is one sick puppy. I would like to know what her parents think of this, or are they outrageously crazy too.
Her parents have inspired her behavior. They are, supposedly, radical environmentalists. She, if what I’ve read is accurate, is mildly autistic and so whatever her parents have told her is her story, period. She’s just trying to stay relevant at this point since her climate rants turned out to be…. gasp… nothing burgers.
Why even report anything this mongoloid moonface says or does? She, and her lemming followers only seek recognition and fame, and the media, being left wing, is more than happy to assist.
Surely this is a joke
Not quite a joke but have you heard of satire coming from a SATIRE site . And stop calling me shirley!!😂
Too funny!
Love this site!!! Crazy that people do not recognize satire when they read it.
But isn’t your name Shirley? LOL! But to the point…Some day, one day, hopefully she grows up. The best thing she can do for the planet is NOT procreate. Could you imagine how F’d up that kid would be?
Wrap Thunberg up in a plastic trash bag and toss her into a compost heap.
I love satire! It makes its point by coming in the back door of the “crazies” ideas…. & funny! Other sources of funny, “Babylon Bee” and “ Lefties Losing It”
She is really kind of smart in the fact that every where she goes, she get arrested put in jail for a short time and that means 3 hots and a cot and it does not cost her a penny. Sad that’s how she wants to spend her life. Maybe she has a cell mate.